Some countries have legal ages at which people can drink. Other countries believe not having strict laws is a better policy.
There is a debate over at what age people can drink with some saying there should be legal age and other claiming that there should be strict laws is better a policy. In my opinion, there must be legal age in order to drink in some countries.
On the one hand, setting a legal drinking age provides a clear framework for regulating alcohol consumption. Proponents argue that a minimum age helps young people to protect them from physical and psychological harm from using alcohol early. For example, if people drink before their brain fully matures, it can have a negative impact on cognitive development and increase the risk of addiction. Setting a legal drinking age helps governments to monitor and enforce their laws as it helps to make both citizens and business to respect.
On the other hand, some countries make strict regulations over a fixed legal drinking age. In these countries, the focus is on controlling where, how, and by whom alcohol is being consumed. Without looking at the age, proponents argue that it can cause misuse of alcohol such as irresponsible drinking and unsafe environment. In some countries, they are implementing taxes to alcohol laws in order to reduce overall consumption.
In my opinion, setting a reasonable legal drinking age such as 18 can protect young people to be harmed physically and psychologically by drinking without limit. While complementary measures such as education on responsible drinking, high taxes, and penalties for driving by drinking alcohol can broaden societal issues.
In conclusion, while establishing a legal drinking age gives benefits of protection and generation, this method helps to provide best outcomes for individuals and society.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of linking words to connect your ideas more effectively.
- Ensure that your conclusion fully summarizes the arguments you have made in the essay.
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, such as “legal drinking age,” “regulating alcohol consumption,” and “psychological harm.” However, there are some instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity and precision. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise language could enhance the essay.
The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, which adds variety and interest to the writing. However, there are some grammatical errors that could be revised for clarity and precision. For example, in the sentence “In my opinion, there must be legal age in order to drink in some countries,” the correct phrasing would be “there must be a legal drinking age in some countries.” Additionally, the use of more varied and precise language could enhance the essay.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. However, the argument could be more fully developed in places. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the debate over the legal drinking age and providing a clear position. The introduction and conclusion are well-developed and effectively frame the discussion. The essay provides relevant and specific examples to support the arguments. However, the essay could be improved by providing a more thorough exploration of the opposing viewpoint and by offering a more nuanced discussion of the potential drawbacks of a legal drinking age.
Suggestions
- Ensure that you fully develop your arguments and provide sufficient detail and examples to support your points.