Some countries have legal ages at which people can drink. Other countries believe not having strict laws is a better policy. Discuss both and give your opinion

It is believed that laws should allow people to drink alcohol without having strict rules while others argue that should be limited.
In my view not having rules brings economical benefits, but this is mostly disadvantageous because of social impact.
Being free from any restrictions and drinking any kind of alcoholic beverages is
To begin with alcohol beverages are expensive rather than odd drinks like water or coffee. So if rules don’t put age limits on drinking, consumer’s number would dramatically increase and this automatically influence to the economy and some countries rely heavily on selling alcohol products for greater income. For example countries like Vietnam and Armenia don’t have legal age limits for purchasing or drinking alcohol.
Rules are designed for safety of the citizens in both their health and community. Age limits help people to prevent from harm and any problems. Because of drinking youth organs can face many severe diseases such as cancer or heart disease. If they continue this habit their life longevity will be reduced significantly. Furthermore when person drink alcohol they cannot think properly and they can make any illegal decisions. So this will cause increase of crime. That’s why government trying to control age limits when it relates to intoxicants.
From my perspective, not having strict rules on age limits is dangerous mainly because of its social repercussions. Many youngsters witness so many mixed emotions even a little bit of scolding can make them feel bad. so they want to drink alcohol not because they need this product, but because they want to forget everything and being happy. And this dependence end up having bad situations.
In conclusion even though not having legal law in drinking can help in economic sense. It’s mostly detrimental due to its health and social impact.

6.5

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly stating the writer’s opinion.

Suggestions

Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the conclusion and summarize the main points.

The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are few grammatical errors. However, there are some errors in article and preposition usage, as well as some awkward phrasings that could be revised for clarity. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures and shows a good control of grammar and punctuation. However, there are a few minor errors in verb tense and agreement, as well as some awkward phrasings that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.

The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the topic by discussing the arguments for and against allowing the consumption of alcohol without age restrictions. The writer presents a clear position that the social impact of such a policy makes it mostly disadvantageous, and provides reasons and examples to support this view. However, the argument could be more fully developed with additional supporting details and a more comprehensive discussion of the potential economic benefits.