Some countries have legal ages at which people can drink. Other countries believe not having strict laws is a better policy. Discuss both and give your opinion.
There is a debate over whether in countries availibility of legal age policy for drinking should be abolished or strengthened. While some belive that peoples` age should not be considered to intake alcoholic drinks which is this is the human right to have a choice of what they want and they can shoulder the resposibility of it, I believe that this not only causes many sociatial disorders and leads the government to the dead end road in regulating the populations addiction to it.
Many governments are likely to give freedom for people to start using alcoholic products in early age and they consider it is as a main human right. Every humanbeing should have an access to get everything that they want including the right of drinking as early as they prefer. Many think that people are capable of making decisions about their choices, preferences, especially in many developed Europian countries, children are allowed to buy drinks.
Furthemore, they can take the full responsibility of access to drinks themselves and they are concsious about that and when people have free of charge in restricting these laws, they might feel strongly towards to break it and even makes easier to follow anti policy.
However, drinking alcohol is considered as a way of entering addiction lifestyle to some harmful habits like drinking a lot, taking drugs that most governments avoid and try to control this by legislating some restiction against early drinking. This plays a crucial role in keeping childrens` liability towards this and also helps the opponents control their future prospects which they are bringing them. Whithout a harsh punishments or rules, some governmnets can lose their power on regulating their populations addiction to drinking too much, leading them to detrimental outcomes including massive drug selling and youth health issues.
In my opinion, prohibiting the age policy for drinking is much more crucial rather than loosing strict laws towards this. By this countries can develop their future generation free from some addicted and harmful habits that many people might acquire if it is not taken under control.
In conclusion, although many countries prefer not banning age limit for drinks, I believe that countries with strict policies of age access to drink alcoholics are more successful in delivering their population to better life opportuinities.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the progression of ideas a bit difficult to follow. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly stating the writer’s opinion.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the conclusion and summarize the main points.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic. However, there are some instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be revised for clarity and accuracy. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise language could help to strengthen the argument.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar, but these do not impede communication. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures and shows a good command of grammar. However, there are some errors in verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure that could be revised for clarity and accuracy. Additionally, the use of more complex grammatical structures could help to strengthen the argument.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the topic by discussing the debate over the legal drinking age in different countries and providing a clear personal opinion. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly restating the writer’s opinion.
Suggestions
- Include more specific examples to support your arguments.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and is well supported with specific examples.