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Some experts believe that when a country is already rich, any additional increase in economic wealth does not make its citizens any more satisfied. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is a view that once a country become sufficiently wealth, no amount of extra revenue generation for government budget can add to the satisfaction of its citizens. While the additional increase in the economy of a country presents significant advantages, I believe that there are more important societal aspects to take into account.
Although many advocate for the idea that continuous economic prosperity cannot make citizens of a country more satisfied, access to certain modern-day luxuries should be considered. This often includes purchasing power individuals, particularly wealthier segments of society gain through additional government income, which enables them to buy what they desire at any time from anywhere. With this convenience and accessibility, people can truly feel superior to others and thus become happier and more content with their livelihoods.
It is also important to cite that since we live in the 21th century, almost everyone has become a part of ‘individualistic culture’. The main idea behind this trend lies in becoming self-sufficient adults and relying solely on ourselves, which positively correlates with increasing government budget. That is, as people strive for greatness in their professional lives, they tend to achieve accomplishments that can encourage them to grow more satisfied with their status-quo. The more money they earn, they better feelings they receive, while government can boost its resources on the backs of these taxpayers.
These merits notwithstanding, I believe that one should have more than just financial stability in life. As governing bodies receive more and more resources from the public, they should allocate a part of it to underdeveloped areas of society. These range from poor education, inadequate healthcare system to inconsistent essential public services. Because, it is not reasonable to overlook poorer populations who do not have the opportunities to make use of quality services and infrastructure, as they also contribute a sum of their income as taxpayers to government resources. Otherwise, the dissatisfaction level is most likely to be maintained mostly amongst underprivileged citizens of certain countries.
In addition to the enhancement of infrastructural elements, responsible officials and individuals alike must improve the quality of their personal lives. It has already become a routine for many not to have a wide network of friends as this is arguably difficult to establish meaningful relationships these days. The lack of personal connections can pose a serious threat to people’s mental health, leading to the negative feelings, such as stress, depression, and isolation. Take an example of one of the economically robust countries like US, where more than half of its citizens have reported dissatisfaction with the lack of strong family bons or personal relationships.
In conclusion, while additional economic wealth plays a pivotal role in bringing satisfaction to individuals by equipping them with power to make a variety of purchases and commit to professional greatness, the same cannot be said for all parts of society. Therefore, I still remain convinced that government bodies should provide adequate infrastructural facilities to the public, especially those who are in need, while individuals themselves must take action to build fulfilling connections with each other, as well, in order to become more happier and cohesive societies.

8.0

The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant. However, there are a few instances where the flow of ideas could be improved.

Suggestions
  • Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas.
  • Ensure that your ideas are fully developed and explained.

The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical repertoire. A wide range of vocabulary is used effectively and accurately. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.

The essay uses a wide range of complex structures. The majority of sentences are error-free. However, there are a few minor errors that could be corrected.

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. The essay provides relevant, extended and supported ideas. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific examples to support the arguments.

Suggestions
  • Include specific examples to support your arguments. In the second main body paragraph, you mention ‘accomplishments’ and ‘mental health’, but these are quite broad topics. It would be more effective to provide specific, concrete examples to illustrate your points. For instance, you could discuss a specific profession or industry where economic wealth has led to increased levels of satisfaction and fulfillment.