Some feel that tourism endangers culture. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The question of endangerment of culture because of tourism has sparked a considerable debate among people. While i acknowledge that spread of tourism leads ro history and heritage loss, i also believe that it helps culture to spread.
One the one hand, i believe taht a significant reason for it’s validity, is history and heritage loss. As people show an increasing interest in various countries, thereby come and visit them. That is to say tourists, who travel to US and have no desire of coming back, remain there thereby immersing into that culture. They build families, find new friends with different nationality, and without even noticing, forget about their origins. Resulting in the loss of their culture and traditions, as more people are willing to travel there more. Tourists tend to forget their original roots, and bring new culture in their home, obliterating all the heritage left by their ancestors.
On the other hand, I also think that cultural diversity plays an equally crucial role in traveling. To put it unto perspective, when many tourists travel to other countries, they tend to enjoy time, culture , people, accessories there, which means the popularity coupled with recognizability surges significantly, which leads to higher number if tourists coming. For instance, Qatar, arab country which led World cup 2022, is currently building a culture. After world cup, the internet in city has significantly increased, thus affecting on tourism. The aforementioned arguments show why high rate of tourism is beneficial (i couldn’t find any other word) for culture.
In conclusion, although there are valid arguments against, it us equally important to consider that tourism can be effective to culture because of cultural diversity and loss of origins.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a standard structure, but the introduction could be more effectively linked to the body paragraphs. The use of linking words and cohesive devices is somewhat haphazard, affecting the overall coherence. While the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points, it could be more comprehensive in linking back to the introduction and the body paragraphs.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to this topic.
The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical repertoire. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity and precision. Additionally, the use of more formal language throughout the essay would help to strengthen the overall tone.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are only minor errors. However, there are some issues with punctuation and the overall sentence structure could be improved for better clarity. The essay attempts to use a variety of sentence structures, but there are some grammatical errors that can affect the clarity of the writing. Paying closer attention to grammatical accuracy, particularly with verb forms and prepositions, would help to improve the overall quality of the writing. Additionally, the use of more formal language and proper punctuation can help to enhance the readability of the essay.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both the endangerment of culture by tourism and its potential for cultural spread. The writer presents a clear position and supports it with relevant examples. However, the argument could be more fully developed, and the essay could benefit from a more detailed exploration of the counter-argument. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive in linking back to the introduction and the body paragraphs.
Suggestions
- Ensure that the argument is fully developed and supported with specific examples.