Some feel that tourism endangers culture. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Tourism poses a threat to cultural diversity. While I believe that tourism is a great way to stay interconnected, I also consider that it also causes globalization.
I feel that a significant reason, why tourism is good for worldwide cultures, is that the world stays interconnected. As people nowadays have access to a wide range of travel facilities and are fascinated by cultural diversity , spread of its special and unique features makes tourists fascinated by cultural diversity. In this way, people might stay aware of various kinds of cultures. A good case in point is Qatar trying to build its own culture by balancing its rapid modernization and development by showing its identity through events like the FIFA World Cup 2022. This leads, tourists to greatly desire to flock to such places.
However, I also consider that globalization plays an equally crucial role in tourism endangering culture. This leads to globalization, as tourists travel and travel to the majority of places, allowing communities to share their own traditions nationalities, and cultures with the global audience. The historical artifacts may be commercialized often losing their original authenticity. This creates a cultural diffusion among people and it is more likely to lose history and cultural heritage. Nowadays many people trying to live in the US because of it modernization and offers great opportunities to build up a career, after moving they unknowingly immerse in that culture because they are around people who have their own traditions, and they tend to learn them, which highly effects on forgetting their own culture and becoming less popular by losing their traditional lifestyle.
In conclusion, although there are more positive sites of tourism on culture like interconnectedness, it is equally important to consider its negative effects on culture which are globalization and loss of history
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly stating the writer’s position.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points and clearly state your position.
The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical resource. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical resource, with a variety of vocabulary used effectively. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity and precision.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are only minor errors. The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are only minor errors. However, there are a few instances of incorrect or awkward phrasing that could be revised for clarity and precision.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly stating the writer’s position.
Suggestions
- Ensure that you fully develop your argument and support it with specific examples.
- Make sure that your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and clearly states your position.