Some feel that tourism endangers culture while others feel it is beneficial. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.
People have differing opinions about the impact of tourism on cultures. While some argue that it poses threats to the uniqueness of local cultures, others oppose to this opinion and claim that it offers several advantages. In my view, tourism is an emerging industry that acts as a catalyst for economic prosperity in destination communities, but when it comes to culture, it is a destructive one. Therefore, I tend to side with those who say that it is deleterious.
Proponents of tourism say that it facilitates in improving cultural sensitivity and awareness. Travelling to other nations paves the way for people to introduce themselves with alien cultures, meaning there is a chance for them to observe local communities’ rituals, cultural assets and societal values closely, ultimately resulting in better perception of them. This in turn leads to subconscious acquisition of certain cultural elements from local communities, causing them to be widely known and acknowledged in other countries. A case in point is my city, Samarkand, which has long turned into the epicenter of tourists’ arrival. After this increased touristic activities in my city, Adras – a local fabric used to make traditional clothes – has become well-known among many fashion designers and has been even used in numerous fashion shows.
Despite this factor, I would argue for the fact that tourism make detrimental impacts on local cultures. The main reason for my stance is cultural homogenization. With a growth in tourism comes a rise in dominance of foreign cultures, a phenomenon commonly described as westernization. This is mainly attributable to the fact that many people from western countries have a tendency to regard local communities, particularly those in third-world countries, as inferior in terms of advancement, eventually leaving an impression that everyone should make an effort to be similar to them. Not only does this development have an influence on tangible cultural elements, such as clothing, but also it tends to integrate with their intangible counterparts like people’s behaviour. For instance, in Tadjikistan, a tradition hat called “Qalpoq” that had been worn for centuries has fallen out of fashion and been replaced with caps as a sign of imitation to western styles.
To conclude, on the face of it tourism seems to be beneficial with regard to improving cultural awareness on a global scale, since it can act as a contributor to the prevalence of various cultural elements. Nonetheless, I hold a different view, as I think it is the main reason for the destruction of cultures, given the fact that many local people have started imitating to tourists – a trend that is being experienced in many developing countries.
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant. However, there are a few instances where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs for each viewpoint, and a conclusion that restates your position. You use transition words effectively to guide the reader through your argument (e.g., “Despite this factor,” “To conclude”). For further improvement, ensure that the connection between sentences within paragraphs is smooth to enhance the overall cohesion. For example, in the paragraph discussing the positive aspects of tourism, the transition between the introduction of cultural sensitivity and the example of Samarkand could be smoother to clearly link the example to the point you are making.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to improve the flow of ideas.
The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical repertoire. You demonstrate a good command of vocabulary with terms like “cultural sensitivity and awareness,” “dominance of foreign cultures,” and “cultural homogenization.” Your use of language is clear and appropriate for the topic. To further enhance your lexical resource, consider varying your language more when discussing the benefits and drawbacks of tourism to avoid repetition and enrich your expression. Additionally, be mindful of word choice to ensure precision in meaning. For example, instead of “the main reason for my stance,” you could use “the primary concern of my stance” to more accurately convey your position.
The essay uses a wide range of complex structures. The essay showcases a variety of sentence structures and is largely free of grammatical errors. You use a range of grammatical structures effectively, from simple to complex sentences, which helps to convey your ideas clearly and effectively. There are minor errors that could be refined, such as the phrase “tourism make detrimental impacts,” which should be “tourism makes detrimental impacts.” Proofreading for such errors can help improve the overall quality of your writing. Additionally, varying your sentence structures further could help maintain the reader’s interest and demonstrate your grammatical range.
The essay addresses the task fully and presents a well-developed response. You discuss both sides of the argument and provide a clear personal opinion. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both the positive and negative impacts of tourism on culture. You clearly articulate the arguments in favor of tourism as a facilitator of cultural sensitivity and awareness, as well as the arguments highlighting its potential for cultural homogenization and negative impacts. Your personal stance is clearly presented, supporting the idea that tourism can be both beneficial and detrimental, depending on the context. To further strengthen your response, consider providing more specific examples to support your arguments and ensure a balanced discussion.
Suggestions
- Consider providing more specific examples to support your arguments and ensure a balanced discussion.