Some individuals argue that technology advancements can be a reason for decreasing crime, while others think it would give more opportunities for improving crime.
Increasing population is a main reason for crimes, and also many crimes happening in developed countries, and this is an example of technology that can give more inspiration for offenders. In this essay I will explore this topic and give my own opinion.
On the one hand,there are many reasons for increasing crimes such as technological advancements, overpopulation and giving more freedom by governments.In the large cities the government is guarding very well with many technological devices for screening cameras,ID cameras ,CCTV, everywhere here around with cameras in a cities which is dence with people.However, many crimes are happening in this place such as China Korea New York or Uzbekistan, Tashan City.There are other ways for offenders because technological advancements are giving many ways to them for cybercrimes or high cares are devastating many large Banks.
On the other hands modern technology devices are helping to reduce crimes to ID face or fingerprints cameras. Those technology are influencing to the cities tranquility.Otherwise crimes would be extremely high.For instance train stations have been controlled by governments for a decade,before that those had been too many thefts determined.
In conclusion technological advancements are look like double-edged swords. It has advancements and disadvantages, but it has to be focused on more benefits for serving as humans profits.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay is structured with an introduction, body paragraphs for each side of the argument, and a conclusion. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes awkward or incorrect, affecting the overall coherence. Additionally, the connection between some ideas is not clear, which can be confusing for the reader.
Suggestions
- Try to use a variety of cohesive devices appropriately to improve the flow of your writing and make your arguments more clear and persuasive.
- Make sure that the connection between your ideas is clear and that your arguments are easy to follow.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a range of vocabulary related to the topic, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices, which can affect the overall clarity and effectiveness of the writing.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and there are some errors in grammar and punctuation. However, these errors do not generally impede communication. The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, and there are some grammatical errors and punctuation issues. However, these do not generally impede communication, and the overall meaning of the essay is clear. There are a few errors in verb tense and subject-verb agreement, but these are minor and do not significantly impact the overall quality of the writing.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed, and the essay could provide more specific examples to support the points being made. Additionally, the conclusion could be strengthened by providing a more definitive statement of the essay’s overall argument.
Suggestions
- Make sure to fully develop your argument and support it with specific examples.
- Consider strengthening your conclusion by providing a more definitive statement of your essay’s overall argument.