Some people argue job satisfaction is more important than job security. Others believe a permanent job is more important. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion
Choosing a job is not an easy decision as it involves various factors. While job security is claimed to be of greater importance, others argue that it is job satisfaction that needs to be prioritized. I think to have a successful career requires a careful consideration of multiple facets of a job.
In light of current econimic climate, it is crucial to ensure a long-term employment. Given that the world population grows, the competitive nature of employment in every sector becomes more intense. As a result, if an individual loses their job, they have to wait for prolonged period until another available job is found. This may lead to financial pressure for an ordinary person who needs to pay for rising costs of basic needs. Therefore, some maintain that job security should be considered more seriously than job security.
Conversely, there are adverse implications of overlooking job security. Routinely engaging in an activity that provides no satisfaction may cause fatigue, mental pressure, or depression. To avoid such mentail constraints derived from work, an individual should envisage how rewarding their career options need to be. Having to deal with toxic colleagues, for example, can cause anxiety that may cripple into our personal space. For this reason, there is a school of thought that job satisfaction is a more important aspect in choosing a career path.
In conclusion, opinions vary as to which aspect of a job should be prioritized: job security or satisfaction. Personally, I believe both factors play a key role in leading a successful professional life, and ignoring either of these may lead to undesirable consequences.
The essay is logically organized and the ideas are connected well. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.
Suggestions
- Use more linking words to improve the flow of ideas.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic.
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, with terms like “prolonged period,” “financial pressure,” and “mental constraints” used appropriately. However, there are some instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that detract from the overall clarity and effectiveness of the writing. For example, the phrase “an individual should envisage how rewarding their career options need to be” is awkward and could be rephrased for clarity. Additionally, the use of more precise and varied language could help to more effectively convey the nuances of the arguments presented.
The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures effectively, ranging from simple to complex sentences. However, there are some grammatical errors that affect the clarity and readability of the essay. For example, the phrase “if an individual loses their job, they have to wait for prolonged period until another available job is found” should be “if an individual loses their job, they have to wait for a prolonged period until another job is found.” Overall, the essay demonstrates a good command of grammar and sentence structure, but the accuracy could be improved by addressing these minor errors.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. However, the introduction could be more concise and focused. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the importance of job security and job satisfaction and providing a clear personal stance. The writer presents a well-structured argument, discussing the economic realities that make job security a priority, as well as the personal fulfillment aspects that make job satisfaction important. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reiterates the personal stance, but it could be more comprehensive in addressing the balance between the two aspects.
Suggestions
- Make the introduction more concise and focused.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea.