Some people argue that it is more important to have an enjoyable job than to earn a lot of money. Others disagree and think that a good salary leads to a better life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Some claim that having enjoyable job is more vital than having well paid one , while others argue that better paid jobs are key to a better life. Although earning high salary can help to hit the financial and materialistic goals, i am of the view that doing what you love truly matters.
On the one hand, due to extremely high demand, the prices of everything are skyrocketing. This makes even covering basic needs challenging for people. It leaves no room for people to choose the job they love while suffering financially. As pursuing a childhood dream may not pay the bills. Another motive to choose a well-paid job is supporting family and other relatives. Many have dependents such as spouses, children, or parents. In order to fulfill their needs, one has to have a well-paid job. Since unfulfilled financial holes may lead to conflicts in any relationship.
On the other hand, despite the above-mentioned advantages of having better-paid jobs, pursuing the job you like guarantees personal fulfillment. As obvious as it sounds, doing what you love brings a sense of joy and personal satisfaction. This helps to avoid burnout or work-related depressions, making the work feel less like a chore. Secondly, going after the job you love leads to better mental health. Being busy with your favorite job is less likely to cause stress and anxiety. Also, the likelihood of you counting hours until the weekend in a workplace is reduced. In other words, you get to enjoy doing what you love without feeling like you’re stuck in a routine.
In my opinion, ideally person should seek a balance between the two- aiming for a well paid and simultaniosly enjoyable job. In case the job they love is not that well paid , they should start side hustle to be financially stable .
In conclusion, earning high salaries is indeed essential in today’s world , however , to find a purpose and fulfillment in life, one should go for his dream job. Even so, people should try to strike a balance, I think, by finding both enjoyable and well-paid jobs or by making money off of side hustles.
The essay is logically organized and the ideas are connected well. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive. Clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph and more explicit linking phrases would help guide the reader through the essay. Ensuring consistent punctuation and spacing will also improve readability.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas more effectively.
- Make sure that your conclusion fully summarizes the main points of your essay.
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. For example, “simultaniosly” should be “simultaneously,” and “one has to have a well-paid job” could be rephrased for clarity. Improving lexical precision and variety will enhance the clarity and professionalism of the essay. Additionally, ensuring correct spelling and grammar usage will improve overall readability.
The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect sentence construction. For example, “In my opinion, ideally person should seek a balance” should be “In my opinion, an ideal person should seek a balance,” and “to find a purpose and fulfillment in life, one should go for his dream job” should be “to find purpose and fulfillment in life, one should pursue their dream job.” Paying closer attention to grammatical accuracy, including correct verb forms and preposition usage, will improve the overall quality of the essay.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. The arguments are well-developed and supported with relevant examples. However, the conclusion could be more comprehensive. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the importance of finding a balance between enjoying a job and earning a good salary. The writer presents a clear stance and supports it with relevant arguments. The introduction and conclusion are well-developed, and the essay is structured logically. The writer also uses a variety of sentence structures and transitions effectively. To improve, the writer could provide more specific examples to support their points and ensure that the essay remains focused on the prompt throughout.
Suggestions
- Try to provide a more comprehensive conclusion that summarizes all the key points made in the essay.
- Ensure that the essay remains focused on the prompt throughout.
- Provide more specific examples to support your points.