Some people argue that parents should have a strong influence on their children’s choice of friends and life partners. Others believe that young people should make these decisions independently. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Some argue that parent should have a significant impact on their children’s choice of friends and life partner. But the majority of people believe that younger generation should make decision by themselves. In my opinion, this is important parent to be dominant over their kids for some extens but, when it comes to make personal choices, Adults should be freedom and privacy. Otherwise, children reletionship between others may worsen.
On the one hand, when people become adults. They need to be more idependence especially, when adult making decisions that effect their long term future. Parents should letting to their kids to make their own choice not only about friend or life partners but also, educational and career decisions. What is more when children are try to choose their friends and partners for rest of their lifes, parents should be supportuve and encouragement, instead of, being forced or have strong influence children’s reletionship between others is getting worser and worser. As a result, children may not live spend enjoyable and productive time in their rest of life.
On the other hand, it is obvious that, parents have a lot of experiences in a life. Therefore, they care their children as a baby, they do not want their children being hurt by others. That is why they are overprotective. They like to give life guidance for their kids. I tend to respect this influence.
In conclusion, adults should be given more freedom to choose their partners without any influence of their parents. Instead parents should be supportive and motivate their lovely children. This is my personal opinion.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly stating the writer’s opinion.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points and clearly state your opinion.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be revised for clarity. Additionally, the use of synonyms could be increased to avoid repetition and enhance the overall quality of the writing.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar and punctuation. However, these do not detract from the overall clarity of the writing. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, which adds to the overall quality of the writing. However, there are some grammatical errors that could be addressed for clarity and accuracy. Additionally, the use of punctuation could be improved to enhance the overall readability of the essay.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the topic by discussing both views and providing the writer’s opinion. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The conclusion could also be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly stating the writer’s opinion.
Suggestions
- Ensure that you fully develop your argument and support it with specific examples.
- Make sure that your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and clearly states your opinion.