Some people argue that parents should have a strong influence on their children’s choice of friends and life partners. Others believe that young people should make these decisions independently. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
In our modern world, some people have different views about a strong influence on their children’s choice of friends and life partners, while others believe that young people should make these decisions independently.
On the one hand, many parents can help their childrens choice of friends and life partners, and parents always want to close friends for their children. In fact, psychologists found that parents can feel false friends and wrong life partners. In addition, parents should have a strong influence on their children’s wrong choice. From my perspective, young people may be choice false friends in their life’s if parents don’t help to choose true friends. Moreover, psychologists say 25 percent of children choose false friends while the remaining percentage of children select true friends. In one word, parents are always important from children’s choices.
On the other hand, some people believe that young people should make these decisions independently. The reason for this young people can choose true friends and life partners if parents don’t agree with their children’s choice. In addition, this way is not greater than the other way. In my opinion, young people can’t choose true friends and life partners if their parents don’t agree with this work . Moreover, young people should make these decisions independently if their mentality high because mentality has many beneficial things for all negative works. But the mentality of all young people is not developed until the age of 13. So that’s why parents are absolutely important to their children’s choices.
In conclusion, parents should have a strong influence on their children’s choice of close friends and life parents compared to childrens own decisions.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay is structured with an introduction, two body paragraphs representing different views, and a conclusion. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the argument less fluid. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and restating the thesis.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to restate the thesis and summarize the main points in the conclusion.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with some attempts to use less common and idiomatic language. However, there are several instances of awkward or incorrect word choices, affecting the overall clarity and effectiveness of the writing. Additionally, the use of synonyms is sometimes repetitive, which could be improved to enhance the lexical resource.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar, punctuation and spelling. However, these errors do not generally impede communication. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, but there are several grammatical errors that affect the overall clarity and readability. These include issues with subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, and preposition use. Additionally, there are some errors in punctuation and spelling that should be addressed to improve the overall quality of the writing.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the topic by discussing both views on the influence of parents on their children’s choice of friends and life partners. However, the argument could be more fully developed, with more specific examples and a clearer explanation of the implications of each view. Additionally, the essay would benefit from a more explicit statement of the thesis in the introduction and a more comprehensive conclusion that summarizes the main points and restates the position.
Suggestions
- Include more specific examples to support your arguments.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences in the paragraph support this idea.