Some people argue that parents should have a strong influence on their children’s choice of friends and life partners. Others believe that young people should make these decisions independently. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some individuals believe that parents should be oa influential to their children’s choice of friends and life partners. While others argue that young people ought to to make these decisions without assistance from their parents. In my opinion, parents should help their children in some cases, as they have more experience as well as they can differanciate from one person to another. However, after time passes the children grow older and they should make decisions independently, thus parents not always help their children while making decisions.
On the one hand, parents should have an influence on their childrens choice of friends and wifes. Because, they have more experience and they know more about people than their young children, due to parents have more friends and acquintances. For example, young children, such as teenagers sometimes make wrong decisions, when it comes to choosing friends, and as a result they sometimes come across to the fair-weather friends, due to lack of experience and cannot differanciate people. Hence, in this case, parents come to help to their children. Parents usually choose correct people and with correct personality that can be an ideal fit for their children.
On the other hand, in some cases, children should choose friends and life partnersfor them independently, as children become more and more stronger and be ready for future challenges, as well as they become more experienced. For instance, children choose friends, with looking and knowing that friend’s personality and character, but sometimes they might choose the wrong person inadvertently. However, it does hugely effect on children, but convertantly, children take the advantage from this situation, means they become more experienced and each time they get something new for themselves.
In conclusion, when the children is young parents should help and teach about life lessons, however when they grow older, children shoukd make the decisions independantly without their parents, therefore parents should stop aiding their children if their children is mature.

6.5

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly stating the writer’s opinion.

Suggestions

Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
Make sure to fully develop your ideas in each paragraph.

The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices, which could be revised for clarity and accuracy.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar and punctuation. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, which adds to the overall quality of the writing. However, there are some grammatical errors and punctuation mistakes, which can affect the clarity of the writing and should be addressed. Additionally, the use of contractions (e.g., ‘they’re’, ‘it’s’) is inconsistent, and should be either used or completely avoided for the sake of clarity.

The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the topic by discussing both views and providing the writer’s opinion. However, the argument could be more fully developed, and the essay would benefit from more specific examples to support the points made.