Some people beileve children should participate in team sports instead of individual sports. Do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, it is argued that young people should take part in group squad sports rather than individual sports. I completely agree with this idea.
First of all, individual sports such as table tennis, swimming, box and football make the young children more confident or even disciplined. Moreover these types of individual sports put more responsibility to their personal goals. They will rely more on their determined individual efforts and commitment. Solo type of sports have a exceptional impact on setting goals and achivement. This improves their best times or mastering skills. Achieving these goals in individual sports can boost child’s self-esteem and self-confidence as they directly witness the results of their hard work and dedication.
On the other hand, team sports inprove young children’s social skills that communicating with their peers. For example, children learn how to colloborate with their teammates, share responsibilities and make quick desicion under pressure. This in term helps them to build strong relationship. Furthermore, another aspect of taking part in team sports is enhancing leadership and accountability. Many young children can get a opportunities to take on leadership roles, such as team captain or other responsibilities within a group. In these roles they learn how to lead by example, motivate their teammates, and make a decison that can influence the outcome of game.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that while participating in solo sports can develop the young children’s personal responsibility and and setting goals, enhancing social skills and improving leadership are equally crucial on children to take part in team sports.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the author’s stance.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points and reiterate your stance.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be revised for clarity. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise language could help to strengthen the argument.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar, punctuation and spelling. However, these do not impede communication. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, which adds to the overall quality of the writing. However, there are some grammatical errors and awkward constructions that could be revised for clarity. Additionally, the use of more precise and varied language could help to strengthen the argument.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the benefits of both individual and team sports for young people. The writer presents a clear position and supports it with relevant examples. However, the argument could be further developed to provide more specific and detailed examples, and the conclusion could be more comprehensive in summarizing the main points.
Suggestions
- Ensure that you fully develop your argument and provide specific examples to support your points.
- Consider addressing potential counterarguments to strengthen your position.