Some people believe advertisements targeting children should be banned. Do you agree or disagree?
Targeting children with advertisements is a great way to get their attention and click on an ad or download their app. After watching an ad, children want to install their game or an app. Some advertisements on suspicious websites immediately direct them to unknown or dangerous URLs.
I completely agree with blocking advertisements that target children and deceive them into clicking on them. Because nowadays individuals are making money from ads. Every social media plays the ad after clicking on a video. The second main reason is selling their product to children or interest them with non-existing products. Children who are interested in this product will ask their parents to buy it. If they don’t buy it, children will cry or be angry with their parents! However, advertisements are being so long or nasty. So, our young children may face inappropriate content.
In conclusion, showing children inappropriate ads or targeting them must be banned. We must keep our children safe and polite, and keep from harmful things.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a basic structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes awkward or incorrect, affecting the overall coherence. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the key points and reiterating the author’s stance.
Suggestions
- Try to use a variety of cohesive devices to improve the flow of your writing and make your arguments more persuasive.
- Ensure that your conclusion effectively summarizes the key points discussed in the essay and restates your position on the issue.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with some attempts to use less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices, which can detract from the overall clarity and effectiveness of the writing. Additionally, the use of more formal or academic language could be improved.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar, punctuation and spelling. However, these do not generally impede communication. The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, and the overall grammatical accuracy is quite good. However, there are a few minor errors, such as subject-verb agreement and preposition use, which do not significantly impact the overall clarity or readability of the essay. Additionally, the use of more varied grammatical structures could be improved to enhance the overall quality of the writing.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay could also benefit from a more formal tone and style, as well as a more thorough discussion of the potential implications and consequences of banning advertisements targeting children.
Suggestions
- Ensure that you fully develop your argument and support it with specific examples.
- Consider addressing potential counterarguments to strengthen your position.