Some people believe children should participate in team sports instead individual sports Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that it is more useful when children participate in team sports instead of individual sports. I agree with this statement and explain with some arguments.
One of the benefits of team sports is that improved social skills. If children work with groups together, they will learn how to communicate effectively or resolve conflicts. For example, in football there were 11 players and they must be friendly and understand themselves easily. If they play with understanding and creating opportunities to score a goal, they will win their rival team without difficulty. Another advantage of participating in teams is that emotional support and motivation. Teammates provide encouragement during tough times, boosting confidence. If you participate in individual sports and maybe you fail some competitions and at that time nobody give motivations to you. But if you take part in team sports your teammates cheer up your mood and support you as they can as possible.
One of the main advantages of individual sports is that self-thinking. Individual sports focus too much on personal achievement, which might lead to isolation. For instance, you can not worried about your team’s achievements or others, you just think about you. Children participating in individual sports must manage their own training schedules, set personal goals, and hold themselves accountable for their progress and performance. This fosters a sense of independence. Another benefits of individual sports is that goal setting and achievement. Individual sports encourage children to pursue specific, measurable goals and they try to improve their personal time and try very hard to achieve these goals. Achieving these goals give them proud of yourself and can boost child’s self-esteem or self-confidence, as they can directly witness the results of dedication.
In conclusion, despite having some benefits of independent sports, group sports may more effective children’s life and improved their social skills. Therefore, encouraging children to engage in team sports can help them grow into well-rounded individuals.

6.5

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the stance on the issue.

Suggestions

Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points and reiterate your stance on the issue.

The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical resource. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are only minor errors. However, there are a few instances of incorrect or awkward grammar that could be revised for clarity and accuracy. The essay uses a variety of complex structures, but there are some grammatical errors and awkward constructions that can be distracting. These could be revised for clarity and accuracy.

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay clearly addresses the prompt, providing a well-developed argument that supports the idea of children participating in team sports. The argument is well-structured, with each paragraph focusing on a different aspect of the issue. However, the use of cohesive devices could be improved to ensure a smoother transition between ideas. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the stance on the issue.