Some people believe that a crime is a result of social problems and poverty, others think that crime is a result of bad person's nature. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some individuals believe that poverty and social issue cause people to commit crimes, while other people feel that bad human’s temperament leads to crime. Although people with lack of empathy or self-control are prone to do some robberies or thefts, this essay agrees with the former point because poverty and social problems, such as drug abuse, family breakdown, often forces people to commit a crim to meet the basic needs, such as food and shelter.
Some people think that humans with bad traits such as lack of empathy or self-confidence, are highly likely to commit crimes. This is because, these types of properties on humans make them prone to do robberies or thefts regardless of their circumstances. Additionally, some people continue to commit crimes despite, they have been given chance to live without doing nothing offensive, meaning that tendency to do robbery is rooted in their character deeply. For example, psychopaths and people with antisocial behaviours tend to commit a crime, despite their circumstances, and it means that it is down to their nature. However they can change their behaviour, for this reason, this essay disagrees with this idea.
On the other hand, social problems, such as family breakdown and drug abuse, and poverty creates environment to commit a crime. This is because, poverty forces them to do some robberies in order to meet their important needs such as food and shelter to stay, moreover, social problems tend to make crime normal and this can cause people to commit a crime more often, meaning that crime is related to social problems and poverty. For instance, in many countries, social problems especially drug abuse has caused people to commit a crime more often, while poverty and desire to meet basic needs has led people to do different illegal activities such as pickpocketing. For this reason, this essay agrees with the idea.
In conclusion, although person’s nature causes them to do robberies or thefts, this essay agrees with the first viewpoint as social problems and poverty creates environments that crime is normalized.

6.5

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the progression of ideas a bit difficult to follow. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the key points and clearly stating the writer’s opinion.

Suggestions

Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the key points and clearly state your opinion.

The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical resource. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with appropriate use of academic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity. Additionally, the conclusion could use more varied language to more effectively summarize the key points.

The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay demonstrates a good command of a range of grammatical structures, with only minor errors. However, there are a few instances of awkward phrasing and incorrect verb forms that could be revised for clarity. Additionally, the use of passive voice could be reduced to make the writing more direct and engaging.

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. However, the argument could be more fully developed in places. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both views and providing a clear personal opinion. The introduction and conclusion are well-developed, and the essay provides relevant examples to support the arguments. However, the essay could further develop the argument that poverty and social problems are significant contributors to crime by providing more specific examples or data.