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Some people believe that all parents should be given time off from work to help raise their children and improve their parenting skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Caring for children is undeniably one of the most important roles in all society since the well-being of those children will impact the future of that society. Many people think that because of this, all parents should take a holiday to help their children become better at parenting. I completely agree with this idea, as it offers substantial benefits to both parents and children in terms of societal benefits and stronger family dynamics.
One significant advantage is that well-raised children contribute positively to society. In today’s hectic world, individuals who have busy schedule are struggling to handle and regulate the behaviors of their children, increasing the number of crimes in society. For example, recent studies have shown that offspring of families with a history of crime or poor parenting would tend to have antisocial behaviors that could lead them to criminal world, like smoking, drug and so on. If parents allocate time and teach their children about results of harmful and illegal activities, they will be less likely to engage in such activates when they mature. In addition to this, parenting courses would emphasize the important core values, like respect, honesty, and empathy, which, in turn, can lead to improving the overall well-being of future generation, stronger and cohesive communities and discouraging crime.
Furthermore, parenting courses can create a sense of community, allowing parents to connect with their children and share enjoyable experiences. In other words, with better parenting skills, family relationships would improve, fostering healthier interactions between parents and children and emotional stability. Also, by taking a course, parents can have an opportunity to teach their children about important skills that will be crucial later in life. Specifically, since children are our future hope, children can learn communication, routine building, time management, and financial literacy from their parents and apply these skills in adulthood. For instance, parents can teach communication skills by encouraging children to express their thought during family discussions. As for financial literacy, this can be introduced through practical lessons like budgeting their pocket money, saving for desired items. Consequently, there will be a large number of young people who are more well-adjusted and better prepared for adulthood to develop the country.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that requiring parental courses can bring greater advantages to invest in a brighter future for everyone, especially raising healthy relationships and behaviors, and benefiting society as a whole.

8.0

The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion are clearly structured. However, there are a few instances where the flow of ideas could be improved.

Suggestions
  • Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas more effectively.
  • Ensure that your examples directly support your arguments.

The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.

The essay demonstrates a good control of a range of grammatical structures, with only minor errors. However, there are a few sentences that could be rephrased for better clarity.

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. The arguments are well-developed and supported with relevant examples. However, the essay could benefit from a more nuanced discussion, considering potential counterarguments.

Suggestions
  • Consider addressing potential counterarguments to provide a more balanced view.