Some people believe that all students should be required to study the same curriculum until they enter college or university. Others argue that students should have the option to choose subjects that interest them earlier in their education. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people argue that it should be compulsory for all students to study the same curriculum until their college or university admissions. However, there are also those who believe that students should have a freedom of choice on the subjects they study. Both perspectives have their merits, but I think it is better to let students study the subjects they are interested in.
Studying all subjects can benefit students in many ways. Firstly, it gives students the chance to acquire information regarding various subjects at the same time. They, in turn, can apply skills and knowledge they learnt from diverse school curriculum into real life situations. For example, if a student studies anatomy, even though he is not interested in that subject, he can immediately show first medical aid to people who get injured by accident, making a positive contribution to someone’s life. Besides, studying the same curriculum can develop problem-solving skills in a student. Dealing with difficulties often require taking multiple approaches and thinking critically. For this, a student should have at least basic knowledge of core school subjects, as they offer various insights and ideas. Therefore, studying the entire school curriculum is largely advantageous for mental development of students.
Nevertheless, I believe that they should choose what subjects they aim to master. This is firstly because studying only subjects a student finds interesting can make the learning process much more efficient and engaging. When studying their desired subjects, students tend to spend more effort and energy, diving deep into themes. This determination towards particular subjects can ease the difficulty of knowledge acquisition, as student feels no external pressure, rather being driven by internal passion and motivation. Additionally, studying subjects which interest them increases students’ expertise in their major. Students should focus on subjects related to their higher education and careers. It presents students with more time to learn about their fields, thus increasing their increasing their chances of becoming highly knowledgeable and world-class specialists.
In conclusion, some people find making students study the same school curriculum advantageous, while others believe that it should be students who choose what they will study at school. Although studying all subjects brings about benefits such as practical use of the subjects and problem-solving skills, I believe that giving students freedom in choosing the subject they want to study results in better learning process and greater expertise.

8.0

The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant. However, there are a few instances where the flow of ideas could be improved.

“For this, a student should have at least basic knowledge of core school subjects, as they offer various insights and ideas.” – This sentence is a bit confusing and could be rephrased for clarity.
“This is firstly because studying only subjects a student finds interesting can make the learning process much more efficient and engaging.” – The word “firstly” is a bit misleading in this context, as it suggests that there is a sequence of reasons that will be discussed, but the following sentences do not follow in a numbered list.

Suggestions

Consider using more linking words to improve the flow of ideas.
Make sure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea.

The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.

“They, in turn, can apply skills and knowledge they learnt from diverse school curriculum into real life situations.” – The phrase “diverse school curriculum” is a bit awkward and could be rephrased for clarity.
“This determination towards particular subjects can ease the difficulty of knowledge acquisition, as student feels no external pressure, rather being driven by internal passion and motivation.” – The phrase “ease the difficulty of knowledge acquisition” is a bit awkward and could be rephrased for clarity.

The essay shows a good control of a range of grammatical structures, with only minor errors. However, there are a few sentences that could be rephrased for clarity.

“For this, a student should have at least basic knowledge of core school subjects, as they offer various insights and ideas.” – The phrase “they offer various insights and ideas” is a bit vague and could be more specific.
“Additionally, studying subjects which interest them increases students’ expertise in their major.” – The phrase “which interest them” should be “that interest them” for grammatical accuracy.

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. Both sides of the argument are discussed in a balanced way, and the writer’s opinion is clearly stated. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific examples to support the arguments. The essay provides general examples, such as the example of a student who studies anatomy and can provide first medical aid. However, these examples could be more specific and could be explained in more detail to make them more effective. Additionally, the example of students studying their desired subjects is a general example and could be more specific to make the argument more compelling.