Some people believe that children of all ages should have extra responsibilities (for example, helping at home or at work). Others believe that, outside of school, children should be free to enjoy their lives. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
There is an ongoing debate about how children should spend their spare time. Some argue that children should have some duties, while others argue that children should spend it however they like. In my opinion, although there are advantages to have extra responsibilities in their free time, I believe that doing something when they want in their free time, outside of school, is often more effective. Children have a chance to take a rest and they can concentrate with doing what they want.
Having extra responsibilities – such as helping at home or at work – can indeed be an efficient way for children to spend their free time. Children can help their mothers to do housework, for example, cleaning their room, or washing some dishes after having meal. This is particularly true for children who have not any siblings in their family. Additionally, they make people happy with helping others at work. And this can help them make more friends and improve their communication skills.
However, Spending their time however they want in life can still be a better option. Despite the advantages of having some responsibilities. Some children may be tired after studying at school for a long time. Moreover this can be additional pressure for children and this is harmful for their healthy life and their study.
Having a chance for children to do whatever they want can have its own benefits. Children, regardless of their age, have more study to improve their knowledge. Sometimes this has negative impact on their life, such as tiring. To avoid these problems, children should take a rest or going somewhere silent or somewhere they want to go. Moreover, they can concentrate their feelings and their ideas in their free time by themselves. This can also help their healthy life style improve.
In conclusion, while having some responsibilities for children has its unique advantages – such as helping their parents and making people happy at work – I believe that having free time for children to do whatever they want is often more effective due to take a rest and concentrate their feelings.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly stating the writer’s opinion.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the conclusion and summarize the main points.
The essay uses a variety of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices, which can detract from the overall clarity and effectiveness of the writing. Additionally, the use of synonyms could be improved to avoid repetition.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are few grammatical errors. However, there are some errors in article and preposition usage, as well as some awkward phrasings. The essay demonstrates a good command of grammar, with a variety of sentence structures used effectively. However, there are a few minor errors, such as issues with verb tense and word form, which can detract from the overall clarity and effectiveness of the writing. Additionally, the use of articles and prepositions could be improved to enhance the overall quality of the writing.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the topic by discussing both views and providing the writer’s opinion. However, the argument could be more fully developed, with more specific examples needed to support the points made. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly restating the writer’s position.
Suggestions
- Include more specific examples to support your arguments.
- Ensure that the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and clearly restates your position.