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Some people believe that children should be learn a second language .while others, think that learn a second language is not necessary. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Certain citizens argue that it is necessary for children to learn a second language in school, while others believe that it is not important. This essay will discuss both perspectives and provide my own opinion.
On one hand, proponents of learning a second language argue that it offers numerous benefits. Firstly, bilingualism can easily communicate with each other, and it helps children to problem-solve. Also, in recent years, studies have demonstrated that children who learn a second language tend to have better understanding of other cultures. Plus, it provides credibility. Secondly, knowing another language can open up opportunities for interacting with other people. Additionally, learning a second language at a young age can be easier and more effective as children’s brains are more adaptable and rediscovery.
On the other hand, some people believe that learning a second language is not crucial. They argue that learners should study their interests because if they do not want to learn a second language, we cannot force them to do it. Overall, they may have stress and mental weakness. Furthermore, if children learn a second language, they can lose their traditions and values. Therefore, their mother tongue is necessary, and there is no need to learn another language. In my view, while it may not be important for every child to become fluent in a second language, offering language education in schools can provide significant advances in the cognitive, cultural, and practical benefits of bilingualism and make it a valuable skill. However, it should be presented as an opportunity rather than a mandatory requirement, allowing children to pursue it based on their interests and children’s.
In conclusion, while there are valid arguments on both sides, the benefits of learning a second language make it a worthwhile endeavor. By providing opportunities for language education, schools can equip children with valuable skills that can enhance their personal and professional lives.

7.0

The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. However, there are a few instances where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.

Suggestions
  • Use a variety of linking words to connect your ideas more effectively.
  • Ensure that your conclusion fully summarizes the main points discussed in the essay.

The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary relevant to the topic. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity. For example, “it provides credibility” could be rephrased as “it enhances credibility,” and “rediscovery” may not be the most appropriate word in this context.

The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures and is mostly accurate. However, there are a few minor errors that do not significantly impact the overall clarity of the writing. The essay demonstrates a good command of a range of grammatical structures. However, there are a few minor errors in verb tense and subject-verb agreement that could be revised for clarity. For example, “while it may not be important for every child to become fluent in a second language” is clear and grammatically correct, but an alternative phrasing could be “although it may not be essential for every child to become fluent in a second language.”

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. However, the argument could be more fully developed in places. The essay addresses the topic by discussing both sides of the argument and providing a clear personal opinion. The writer presents relevant examples to support their points but could further develop their arguments with more specific evidence or data. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.

Suggestions
  • Ensure that you fully develop your arguments and provide sufficient support for your points.
  • Consider providing more specific examples or data to support your arguments.