Some people believe that excessive use of modern technologies like mobile phones and computers, is negatively affecting the reading and writing skills of our young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Given the ubiquitous use of technologies like mobile phones and computers, people often question their effect on literacy. In this regard, there is a view that children’s reading and writing abilities may be influenced negatively when such technological devices are used excessively. I take issue with this perspective, as it ultimately depends on how responsibly they are utilized, indicating there are also benefits.
Starting with cases where children’s reading and writing skills can be affected adversely due to mobile phones and computers. When children spend an inordinate amount of time glued to their gadgets, their attention spans suffer. Diminished attention spans can be primarily attributed to excessive exposure to short videos and engaging online games, as their brains get used to short-lasting and entertaining content. As a result, they often find it difficult to focus on reading long texts with divided focus, which may lead them to forgo reading altogether. Furthermore, these digital devices are known to have auto-correction and predictive text features. When enabled, children may not be able to identify their spelling and grammar mistakes, allowing them to continue writing texts containing errors. On top of that, excessive chatting online has fostered a culture of abbreviations, offering a faster and more convenient way of texting. Over-reliance on emojis and informal language can hinder the improvement of children’s writing in the long run.
Mobile phones and computers can be employed effectively to improve reading and writing. These means provide the user with instant access to a wide range of educational sources. Unlike traditional ways of reading, through books and newspapers, readers are not limited when they use online libraries where they can find information related to their interests. Easy access and customized experience are enough to keep the reader engaged for a long time, enhancing their reading skills over time. Furthermore, through these technological gadgets, students can find video tutorials aimed at improving reading and writing abilities on You Tube and other websites. Khan Academy can be a good case in point. This educational website is known to boast lessons related to any subject. With the help of them, children can gain valuable insights into both reading and writing, contributing greatly to their enhancement.
In conclusion, even though computers and smartphones have negative effects on writing and reading skills of young people, they can be valuable in honing these skills. Therefore, it ultimately depends on the purpose behind using them.
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant. However, there are a few instances where the flow of ideas could be improved.
“Starting with cases where children’s reading and writing skills can be affected adversely due to mobile phones and computers.” This sentence is a bit awkward and could be rephrased for clarity.
“Mobile phones and computers can be employed effectively to improve reading and writing.” This sentence could be more specific to the technologies being discussed.
Suggestions
- Try to vary your linking words to avoid repetition.
- Ensure that your ideas flow smoothly from one to the next.
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
“As a result, they often find it difficult to focus on reading long texts with divided focus.” The phrase “with divided focus” is not clear and could be better expressed.
“Mobile phones and computers can be employed effectively to improve reading and writing.” The word “employed” may be too formal in this context and “reading and writing” could be more specifically defined.
The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures and is generally free from grammatical errors. However, there are a few minor errors that could be addressed.
“Starting with cases where children’s reading and writing skills can be affected adversely due to mobile phones and computers.” The use of “affected adversely” is grammatically correct but sounds awkward. Consider reordering the sentence for clarity.
“As a result, they often find it difficult to focus on reading long texts with divided focus.” The phrase “divided focus” is not clear and could be better expressed.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. The essay provides relevant, extended and supported ideas. However, the argument could be more fully developed in places. The essay could benefit from more specific examples to support the arguments made. For instance, mentioning studies or real-life examples where technology has either helped or hindered reading and writing skills would add credibility to the arguments.
The essay could also explore the topic in more depth by considering potential long-term effects of technology on reading and writing skills.
Suggestions
- Consider providing more specific examples to support your arguments.
- Ensure that you fully develop your ideas and arguments.