Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both views and give your opinion
Some people think about need to accept lack money and poor job. But a group people believe better need to try for improve this situations. I side with those who argue need to try for change this situation.
The one hand, in the today day people get shortage salary for mor fob or in the others situation they find few money. This moment, many may be agree their state. Forexample, in the India country many people live on the street. Those people adapt this condition and they think do not change this situation. Therefore they believe need to accept this state.
The other hand, some people believe may be change everything so money problems. So they always try the better live. Those people believe their will and improve their such situations. Forexample, the Japan country was bad situation from after the period of war, because two cities here were bombed by America. But, now Japan is one of the developing countries of the world.
In my opinion, people always need to try for change live. It is not unsatisfying job and shortage money, it is bad not trying to change it.
In conclusion, some people find shortage money but other more than. Each people may be change this situation if they believe their.
The essay is somewhat organized, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the use of linking words and cohesive devices is limited, affecting the overall coherence. The transition between ideas is sometimes abrupt, making it difficult to follow the argument. Additionally, the use of cohesive devices such as pronouns and referencing is inconsistent, further affecting the cohesion of the essay.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to improve the flow of your writing.
- Make sure to use pronouns and referencing correctly to improve coherence.
The essay uses a range of vocabulary, but there are some inaccuracies and awkward phrases. The essay demonstrates a basic range of vocabulary, but there are some inaccuracies and awkward phrases. Some words are used incorrectly, affecting the clarity of the writing. Additionally, there is some repetition of words and phrases, which could be varied to demonstrate a stronger lexical resource.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are some grammatical errors. The essay contains several grammatical errors that affect the overall accuracy. Issues include incorrect verb forms, subject-verb agreement errors, and sentence fragments. Proofreading is recommended to correct these errors and improve the overall grammatical range and accuracy.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. The essay addresses the prompt by discussing two perspectives: accepting a poor job and lack of money versus trying to improve the situation. However, the essay could be more focused and developed. The ideas presented are somewhat disjointed, and there is a lack of clear progression in the argument. Additionally, the conclusion could be more comprehensive and provide a stronger summary of the main points discussed.
Suggestions
- Ensure that your position is clear throughout the essay.
- Develop your ideas more fully to provide a stronger argument.