Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
There is a differing view that some consider adopting to downs of life to be the best way, while many people urge others to attempt in handling challenges. While I know why many prefer to accept the life the way it is, I still advocate for trying to better such situations.
On the one hand, acceptance of hardships people face may seem to be the only way out in such times. This is because many regard sparing no effort to overcome challenges in life as useless, so the time and effort used brings no result, and accepting the lows of life in advance without is claimed to prevent people from spending necessary sources in vain. Additionally, not adopting but trying to improve the unexpected situations could even harm people emotionally and mentally. In cases of serious illness and deaths, for example, relatives would have only one choice – accepting, and extra endeavour can lead to stress and anxiety. Therefore, it is believed to be the right choice to make light of such cases.
On the other hand, trying to turn the direction towards better side can serve as a beacon of hope. That is, when faced hardships, individuals often opt for not taking action, losing the motivation and hope towards future. However, taking measure to handle challenging times can sow the seed of motivation and inspiration in people’s mindset, which changes their attitude towards such situations. This is why many call for attempts to overcome tough moments of life.
In my view, however challenging and hard moments people face, never should they stand still and see the acceptance as only solution because this can have a chain reaction on their world-outlook. Once in the habit of giving up, only accepting hardships instead of doing the best to fight against alters the way they think of life, and rarely put effort to seek a solution to life problems. In Eastern cultures, people are used to surrender easily without trying in front of downs of life since it is socially-inscribed notion, and this can illustrate why there are less successful and resilient individuals.
In conclusion, although the acceptance of tough situations may seem reasonable to many people, I believe people should maximize their efforts to improve and overcome such situations in life.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive. Clearer topic sentences and more explicit linking phrases would help guide the reader through the essay. Ensuring consistent punctuation and spacing will also improve readability.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transitions between ideas.
- Make sure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to this topic.
The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical repertoire. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary, but there are some instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. For example, “adopting to downs of life” should be “adapting to the downsides of life,” and “sow the seed of motivation” should be “sow the seeds of motivation.” Improving lexical precision and variety will enhance the clarity and professionalism of the essay. Additionally, ensuring correct spelling and grammar usage will improve overall readability.
The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay contains a few grammatical errors that affect clarity and readability. For example, “This is why many call for attempts to overcome tough moments of life” should be “This is why many advocate trying to overcome tough moments in life,” and “people should maximize their efforts to improve and overcome such situations in life” should be “people should maximize their efforts to improve and overcome these situations in life.” Paying closer attention to grammatical accuracy, including correct verb forms and preposition usage, will improve the overall quality of the essay.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both views and providing the writer’s own opinion. The writer presents a clear introduction and conclusion, and each body paragraph focuses on a single main idea. The arguments are well-developed and supported with relevant examples. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reiterates the writer’s stance.
Suggestions
- Make sure to fully develop all of your points and provide specific examples to support your arguments.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that outlines the main idea to improve the overall structure and coherence of the essay.