Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors, and engineers should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish.
Over the last few decades, we have seen dramatic ideas about the choice of employees for workplaces. While some advocate for the idea of demanding to work in certain places where they were studied, I would side with those who consider that they should choose their own workplaces. The aim of this essay is to analyse both of the perspectives as well as my logical conclusion.
On the one hand, some believe that working professionals in their own regions allows them to develop their inhabitants’ social lives. In other words, when experienced workers are kept in their countries as employees and build their careers there, the quality of life may be improved by them, as they are considered knowledgeable. A prime example of this is that professionals such as doctors, teachers, and engineers have a huge positive effect on individuals’ social lives, with these professions being the core of daily life. As a result, this phenomenon would provide the evolution in their places.
On the other hand, I suppose that giving professionals the authority in choosing their workplaces would provide them with several opportunities. It is an undeniable fact that each person tries to improve their life, and it is clear that the financial condition plays a vital role in achieving people’s pursuits. For instance, the economic condition is not the same in every country, so masters who are the best in their fields find the way to getting better in their situations, leaving for other developing countries and regions, which could offer satisfying salaries. As a consequence of selecting their work locations, many professionals may achieve their dream life.In conclusion, I personally believe that authorising choice for workplaces to employees would be a justifiable idea, despite the controversial perspective of others.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. Clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph and more explicit linking phrases would help guide the reader through the essay. Ensuring consistent punctuation and spacing will also improve readability.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transitions between ideas.
- Make sure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to this topic.
The essay uses a variety of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a range of vocabulary, but there are some instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. For example, “the aim of this essay is to analyse both of the perspectives as well as my logical conclusion” could be rephrased as “this essay aims to analyze both perspectives and draw a logical conclusion.” Improving word choice and using more formal language will enhance the clarity and professionalism of the essay. Additionally, ensuring that pronouns and antecedents agree will improve coherence.
The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay contains a few grammatical errors that affect clarity. For example, “the economic condition is not the same in every country, so masters who are the best in their fields find the way to getting better in their situations” should be “the economic condition is not the same in every country, so masters who are the best in their fields find ways to improve their situations.” Paying closer attention to grammatical accuracy, including subject-verb agreement and sentence structure, will improve the overall quality of the essay.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported. The essay addresses the topic and presents a clear argument, but the development of the argument could be more thorough. The essay could benefit from more specific examples to support the points made. For example, when discussing the benefits of professionals staying in their home countries, the essay could provide an example of a specific country where this has been successful. To enhance the essay, the writer should focus on providing clear and specific examples to support their points and ensure that the argument is fully developed.
Suggestions
- Make sure to fully develop your argument and support it with relevant examples and evidence.
- Consider addressing potential counterarguments to strengthen your position.