Some people believe that students should be taught academic subjects only. Others think practical skills are more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Whether students ought to be encouraged to focus solely on theoretical knowledge or they should also be engaged with practical ones is a matter of debate. Given that nobody knows what the future holds for one’s life, I believe that every person needs to acquire both of them equally.
The main benefit to studying all academic subjects for students is being the topper in almost every subject which means one is regarded as a symbol of a school. In other words, he/she is likely to get all attention from heads of schools for the achievements as well the reputation he/she has brought to the school through taking part in different competitions. Take my country education system as an example where students are strongly encouraged to pay attention to only academic knowledge in order to make their own institutional places famous in different local, regional competitions.
However, there are people advocating that practical skills are far more significant to all learners as they may face variety of real life obstacles out of school as they become adults. Consequently, the majority of them usually fail in life as they have never been provided with skills to survive or succeed in real world. For example, Uzbekistan education system is only designed to train students with academic subjects where most of them find it difficult to achieve something big in their life, even getting a job is complicated due to lack of experience in their fields.
I believe that both officials of education system and parents should work together to make sure that all children are having both practical and theoretical lessons while studying as I am sure that teaching students both real life experience and academic one can bring a huge positive impact not only to a learner but also to a society equally in which a good community can be developed in the long term.
In conclusion, even though there is a debate over whether to choose academic or practical subjects to study, I hold the view that establishing a good system with parents and governments to ensure that both skills are taught equally is the key to the successful life of any learner.
The essay is logically organized and the ideas are connected well. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. Clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph and more explicit linking phrases would help guide the reader through the essay. Ensuring consistent punctuation and spacing will also improve readability.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas more effectively.
- Make sure that your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points of your essay.
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary relevant to the topic. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity. For example, the phrase “I believe that both officials of education system and parents should work together” could be rephrased as “I believe that educators and parents should collaborate.” Ensuring that words are used in the correct context and that idiomatic language is used appropriately will also improve the essay’s overall quality.
The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay contains a few grammatical errors that affect clarity and readability. For example, the use of “both officials of education system and parents” is awkward and could be rephrased for clarity. Paying attention to subject-verb agreement, article use, and preposition use will help improve the overall grammatical accuracy of the essay. Additionally, ensuring that pronouns are used consistently and that antecedents are clear will improve the overall clarity of the essay.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. However, the argument could be more fully developed in places. The essay effectively addresses the topic by discussing the importance of both theoretical and practical knowledge for students. The writer presents a clear position and supports it with relevant examples. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific examples and by ensuring that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.
Suggestions
- Make sure to fully develop your arguments and provide specific examples to support your points.