Some people believe that success in life depends on hard work, while others think it is determined by luck. What are your views on this? Which do you think is more important?
Opinions vary on what determines one’s success in life, hard work or luck. Both hard work and luck are essential to attaining success, but I personally believe the former plays a greater role in maximizing one’s chances of being successful.
The importance of hard work in achieving outstanding results is paramount. This is simply because one is often required to spend a great deal of time and effort to excel in their studies or job. Poor effort and insufficient time invested in one’s endeavors tend to lead to average outcomes, making them less successful than others. People of great stature such as Elon Musk and Cristiano Ronaldo often attribute their wins to their work ethic, which goes to show the role of hard work for success. Others ascribe success to luck or factors outside one’s control such as genetics, family circumstances, connections, and unexpected fortunate events. Someone with strong physical genetics stands a better chance of becoming an NBA player, just as an individual born to an affluent family is more likely to realize their business ideas than someone from humble origins.
In my personal view, if one is to succeed in life, they should place a greater emphasis on hard work. Success often necessitates that an individual be exceptionally good at their job, whether it is cooking or running a country. Excellence in one’s job usually comes from a considerable amount of learning and practice, which requires time and effort. As such, the more time and effort they expend on their craft, the more likely it is that they master it, ensuring their future success. Besides, luck is never guaranteed as it is elusive and often favors only a few. Relying on luck creates indifference, leading to inaction and complacency. Therefore, people who count more on luck than hard work usually make less effort and miss opportunities to increase their odds of success.
In conclusion, having brought hard work and luck into comparison in terms of their importance in one’s success, I am now more convinced that people should prioritize their work ethic over their luck to achieve desirable outcomes in life.
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas.
- Ensure that your examples are directly relevant to the point you are making.
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
The essay shows a good control of a range of grammatical structures, with only minor errors. However, there are a few sentences that could be rephrased for clarity.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. The arguments are well-developed and supported with relevant examples. However, the introduction could be more engaging and the conclusion could be more comprehensive.
Suggestions
- Consider using a more engaging hook in your introduction to capture the reader’s attention.
- Provide a more comprehensive summary of your arguments in the conclusion.