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Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child's development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

With the growing shifts and wider availability of online resources in educational landscape, it has become increasingly common for some parents to homeschool their children, especially in Western communities. While some suggest it as the best way to teach children, others consider the traditional form of education, sending children to schools, to be superior. Both sides of the argument have valid points; however, I subscribe to the latter perspective.
There are various benefits to homeschooling children, one of which is a safer transition to adulthood. In a world where many children are exposed to different forms of unacceptable behavior, such as violence and aggressiveness through their gadgets, they might develop similar characteristics. Even worse is peer pressure, meaning others can be affected by them negatively. For example, one can fall in the victim of physical abuse by their peers at school, influencing their psychological well-being in a negative way. Considering this, educating children at home ensures their safety. Furthermore, this way of teaching children is beneficial, especially for slow-learners. Unlike schools where some students lag behind their classmates due to the differences in learning paces, homeschooling can equip such children with tailored education that caters to their specific needs.
Despite these upsides to teaching children at home, I still believe that allowing them to study at school is more beneficial for their development. When they are deprived of the chance to go to school, they can miss out on essential interpersonal skills like cooperation, conflict resolution and emotional intelligence, as schools foster social interaction beyond education. Poor development of these qualities, in turn, can lead to challenges in forming and maintaining relationships in both personal and professional realms later in life. Given today’s increasingly competitive job market, candidates lacking these features, no matter how qualified they are, struggle finding high-paying jobs or getting promotions at workplaces as well, affecting their earning potential in the future.
In conclusion, giving children education at home has some merits- children’s safety and personalized learning environment. However, this decision is largely disadvantageous seeing as it can hinder children’s growth and take its toll on their future career advancement.

8.0

The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant. However, there are a few instances where the flow of ideas could be improved.

Suggestions
  • Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas more effectively.
  • Ensure that your examples are directly relevant to the point you are making.

The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical repertoire. A variety of vocabulary and idiomatic expressions are used appropriately. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.

The essay uses a wide range of complex structures. The majority of sentences are error-free. However, there are a few minor errors that could be corrected.

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. Both sides of the argument are discussed in a balanced way, and the writer’s opinion is clearly stated and supported. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific examples to support the arguments.

Suggestions
  • Try to include more specific examples to support your arguments. This will make your writing more concrete and persuasive.