Some people believe that technology has made our lives more stressful. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, the technology plays a vital role in people’s lives. There is a view that, such kind of technology such as phone, computer has made our lives more pressuring. Although some items influence to our behavior, I believe every type of technology helps us to complete our works more efficiently, meaning I only partly agree with the perspective above.
It is true that some technology causes to change people’s character which being angry and lazy. For example, a radar detection that earning more money. The radar available almost everywhere where the cars moving, and this is reason being stressful to people. Because some people pay the money to increase the speed of car. Another serious example is traffic jam. Currently, the cities are hustle and bustle, and in every morning most people go to their work or universities. In this moment, this is obvious that, there is a traffic outside due to traffic lights and other problems. When this situation happened, the people will be more annoyed.
Despite the drawbacks of technology, humans can use it for good. For example, the online map, it offers many good options such as to find the location and to show the everywhere in the country. Another interesting point is that, even the stranger namely tourists can use it just click the one button to show their spot. In Uzbekistan, the “TBC” company created the map of subway and it still serves to people. These all of them facilities may help to improve people’s mood.
In conclusion, I completely believe that some technologies cause to people’s behavior while other conveniences of technology improve our live style, even if only slightly.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly stating the writer’s position.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points and clearly state your position.
The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical resource. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are only minor errors. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect sentence construction that could be revised for clarity and accuracy. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, but there are some grammatical errors and awkward constructions that can be distracting. Proofreading is recommended to correct these errors and improve the overall quality of the writing.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position, but the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The introduction and conclusion are somewhat repetitive, and the essay could benefit from a more varied discussion that explores the topic in more depth.
Suggestions
- Ensure that you fully develop your argument and support it with specific examples.
- Avoid repetition in the introduction and conclusion. Try to present your ideas in a more concise and direct manner.