Some people believe that teenagers should concentrate on all school subjects equally. Others believe that teenagers should focus on the subjects that they are best at or that they find the most interesting. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
People have different views about which subjects are important for teenagers’ concentration. While some argues that focusing on all subjects equally can be useful for teens, I side with those who believe that teenagers should learn subjects which they find the best.
On the one hand, teenagers should learn all of subjects, this is because subjects divided into three types: natural, humanity and specific. Natural subjects are essential for learning about world, social- humanity subjects are about literacy and also they can learn and develop their social skills by specific subjects.
On the other hand, despite this arguments, I believe that subject which teenagers find the most important and think interesting are necessary for their studying, because they can learn this subjects which they like enthusiastically. Moreover, These subjects are useful for teens’ future occasions and career, so this helps them to develop their career’ plans on field they want.
In conclusion, some thinks all subjects are useful to develop mentally for teens, I believe that the best subject is that they enjoy, this is because they can learn these subjects not only for current studying, but also for future careers.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly stating the writer’s opinion.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your ideas in each paragraph.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic. However, there are some instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be revised for clarity and accuracy. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise language could help to strengthen the argument.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar, punctuation and spelling. However, these errors do not generally impede communication. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures and shows a good command of grammar and punctuation. However, there are some errors in verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure that could be revised for clarity and accuracy. Additionally, the use of more complex sentence structures could help to strengthen the argument.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the topic by discussing both views and providing a personal opinion. However, the argument could be more fully developed with additional supporting details and examples. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.
Suggestions
- Include more specific examples to support your arguments.
- Ensure that each paragraph fully develops a single idea.