Some people believe that teenagers should concentrate on all school subjects equally. Others believe that teenagers should focus on the subjects that they are best at or that they find the most interesting. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

There is a debate over which subjects should be concentrated by school children While some argue that adolescents ought to study all curricula at school, including the disciplines that they are not passionate about, I side with those who believe that they can achieve greater academic success if they place full importance on the subject they enjoy.
On the one hand, the people considering the former way is better cite several justifications for their stance. Firstly, there are a number of courses that should be mastered as they are necessary for not only the bodies who want to be qualified in these subjects but also for every individual who wants to build successful careers in other domains which they want to pursue. That is to say, arithmetic and basic computing can be suitable examples in this context since they play a crucial role in satisfying the requirements of the labor market, allowing jobseekers to survive in the hypercompetitive world. On the contrary, it is likely that those who are not familiar with simple numeracy, such as division and multiplication before finishing school would have difficulty finding a lucrative job. The latter subject is also vital especially in this developing world, where the technology is advancing in an unprecedented pace.
However, I assert that choosing and focusing on what students are enthusiastic about and proficient in can be far more beneficial. Firstly, this choice can offer a long-term success because people can be happy and fulfilled when they work on projects which they are curious about, as is also pointed out by the most successful entrepreneurs, such as Elon Musk and Steve Jobs who founded companies – SpaceX and Apple. They showed profound passion for software engineering and decided to follow this path until now. Furthermore, in most cases, people are not likely to suffer from extreme fatigue while doing their beloved tasks as they are driven towards their goals, not noticing how time flows and keeping their energy levels intact.
In conclusion, although there are some knowledge that is important such as mathematics and IT, I think teens should be granted autonomy to study what they like.

7.0

The essay is logically organized and the ideas are connected well. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.

Suggestions

Use more linking words to improve the flow of ideas.
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic.

The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.

The essay demonstrates a good control of a range of grammatical structures, with only minor errors. However, there are a few sentences that could be rephrased for clarity.

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. The arguments are well-developed and supported with relevant examples. However, the introduction could be more concise and focused. The introduction is a bit wordy and could be more focused. Consider removing unnecessary words to make your point more clearly.