Some people believe that teenagers should concentrate on all school subjects equally. Others believe that teenagers should focus on the subjects that they are best at or that they find the most interesting. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
People have different views over weather teenagers should focus on all school subjects equally or the subjects that they are good at. While some argue that youngsters should focus on all school subjects on a large scale, I side with those who believe that it is necessary to study a distinct subject for them which is good at.In this essay I will try to highlight both viewpoints and make my own conclusions.
On the one hand,there are more experiences highlighting the view that teenagers should spare time to all subjects. The main reason behind this thinking is a well-rounded education. Studying all subjects gives students an opportunity to broad their knowledge on different topics. Besides that, it can help them conceive critically in all aspects. The next reason is the flexibility for future choices. In other words, by studying all school subjects, students can manage some skills for future careers. More profoundly, students discover their hidden talents, interests and skills on a subject which they hadn’t thought of before and make their future career.
On the other hand, many of us think that students should spend the majority of their time on learning for special subject which is good at or interested in. Focusing on a interested topic can lead to a passion, success and enjoyment. As a result, students who chose their career by interest and skills, can enhance experiences in the field and led to higher education opportunities. The second reason for the advantages of focusing on specific subject is reduction of stress. Perhaps, on all school subjects can effect badly on health in many cases. So,the students, who preparing for more specific subjects can face with such kind of situations rarely because of their engaging in their favorite lessons and having more free time for rest and caring their health.
In conclusion, while some people offer studying all school subjects equally, that gives a well-rounded education and flexibility for future choices, I think that, focusing on a specific favorite subject can be more beneficial. Especially, in the current era, it is important becoming a good specialist by wish without loosing health.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay is structured with an introduction, body paragraphs for each viewpoint, and a conclusion. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes awkward or incorrect, affecting the overall coherence. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the key points and clearly stating the overall stance.
Suggestions
- Try to use a variety of cohesive devices appropriately to improve the flow of your writing and make your arguments more persuasive.
- Ensure that your conclusion effectively summarizes the key points discussed and clearly states your overall stance.
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and there is some evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a range of vocabulary, with appropriate use of academic language. However, there are some instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity and precision.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are only minor errors. However, there are some issues with word choice and sentence structure that affect the overall clarity. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures effectively, with a good range of simple and complex sentences. However, there are some grammatical errors and awkward constructions that can affect the overall clarity and precision of the writing.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position and supporting it with relevant examples. However, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the key points and clearly stating the overall stance.
Suggestions
- Ensure that you fully develop your argument and support it with specific examples. This will help to make your position more convincing and your writing more engaging.