Some people believe that teenagers should concentrate on all school subjects equally. Others believe that teenagers should focus on the subjects that they are best at or that they find the most interesting. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
There is a debate over whether students should learn all the subjects or not. While some argue that all the things taught at schools are necessary for teens to learn, I side with those who believe that they should follow their interests and focus on the subjects they are good at.
On the one hand, it is understandable for those who point out the idea of children following their own interests and studying sciences they are fond of while they should not be limited by just interests. For instance children who are fond of literature or history love reading books and good at writing. They are flexible and curious for all sort of things. And their curiosity helps them to master other natural and humanity subjects too. In addition, teenagers get benefits for not only for their future career but for the safety and health too.
However, from the other side adolescents should be permitted to pursue their interests in order to receive a well-rounded education. Studying multiple courses and following interests can be useful in identifying teenagers abilities and future jobs. For example children who are good at math are really inquisitive and loves challanges. Their problem-solving abilities are useful in specific subjects and can make their future career successfully by analyzing their strengths and weaknesses.
In conclusion, while devoting equal time to all subjects can offer many advantages for life like safety and health, I believe that focusing on the favorite ones can be more useful in the children’s near future.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly stating the writer’s opinion.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points and clearly state your opinion.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices, which could be revised for clarity and accuracy. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise language could help to strengthen the argument.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and there are few grammatical errors. However, there are some errors in article and preposition usage, as well as some awkward phrasings. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, and the majority of sentences are free from grammatical errors. However, there are a few instances of incorrect verb forms and awkward phrasing, which could be revised for clarity and accuracy. Additionally, the use of more varied and complex sentence structures could help to strengthen the argument.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the topic by discussing both views and providing the writer’s opinion. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay also could be improved by providing a more detailed explanation of the implications of each view for the students’ learning and future success.
Suggestions
- Ensure that you fully develop your argument and support it with specific examples.
- Provide a more detailed explanation of the implications of each view for the students’ learning and future success.