Some people believe that young people should choose the jobs that they want, but other people think they should be more realistic and think more about their future.
Regarding to some people’s views, they trust that adults should set the job which is their wants. However, opponents think that teenagers should think their future and choose the better jobs for great life. I support that later opinion.
One the one hand, parents and beginner school teachers teach to children about built their life from now and they give several advice regarding choose the good jobs. Then, young students can focus on their future. So, nowadays, money can solve all things. They interest to money and they search some popular and suitable jobs, which are bring lots of money and achieve to successful on their performance. From my perspective, these decisions are good job for good live and they have more realistic towards their life. To example, they have more money and they can reptile anything particularly, in the works or studies.
On the other hand, as mentioned on the question, adults should choose jobs, which are they wants. I can say, this way is not bad but children may not choose better and famous jobs just like business, doctor, lawyer, and other jobs. Because, another different job has no enough responsible side and do not pay more. However, they choose their jobs and these works might be better on the future. Why? Because, our jobs are modernizing day by day as well as technology. So that’s why, I can not say about future. Anyway, these topics great for discuss.
To conclude, both opinion is good for choice jobs. But tense I changing from day to day. In fact, teenagers should set anything on the along condition.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the writer’s stance.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your ideas in each paragraph and connect them back to the main topic.
The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with some attempts to use less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few inaccuracies in word choice and collocation that could be improved. Additionally, the essay would benefit from more varied and precise language to express complex ideas more clearly.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar, punctuation and spelling. The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are several grammatical errors that can hinder the overall clarity. Issues include subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, and preposition use. Proofreading is recommended to correct these errors. Additionally, the essay would benefit from a wider range of sentence structures to more effectively convey complex ideas.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both perspectives on the issue and clearly stating the writer’s position. However, the argument could be more fully developed, and the essay would benefit from more specific examples to support the points made. The conclusion is somewhat vague and could be more effective in summarizing the main points and restating the writer’s stance.
Suggestions
- Ensure that you fully develop your argument and support it with specific examples.
- Consider addressing potential counterarguments to strengthen your position.