Some people believe that young people should choose the jobs that they want, but other people think they should be more realistic and think more about their future. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
In a world where many people are concerned about their income it is becoming a dilemma whether young generation should pursue their desired career or they should set realistic goals and take into account job’s future perspectives. While having clear expectations benefits young individuals, I believe that giving a green flag to them to choose their preferences should come first.
Advocates of freewill regarding career selection among youngsters can propose few upsides. Many consider job satisfaction as a prime reason why employees are putting into extra work and devoting themselves entirely on their loved occupation. It is true that lucrative jobs are highly desirable but most people do not chase after materialistic possessions. There are people who prioritize emotional fulfillment and willing to sacrifice their revenue. Many important jobs are paid low, such as teachers. Despite of this discouragement, there are still a lot of young enthusiasts who want to see themselves in this job. The driving force behind their motivation to get the job is the idea that they can influence people positively and contribute to the development of the entire society.
On the other hand, there are people who emphasis career stability and future advancements. If young individuals have a determined mind regarding their future job, they can lay a solid foundation in advance. These people would have more time to prepare to the job settings and adapt to the new circumstances quickly. On top of that, they would possess more in deep know-how about their profession which may come in hand and help them to move up the career ladder in a short time. Moreover, young people can analyse the market and find the most demanding job vacancies that have high salary and always stay relevant. Since the cost of living has been increasing year by year, young people should select a profession that can meet their needs.
I believe that every individual should have a choice to make when it comes to their future job. Instead of getting stuck in a job that provides high income but cause emotional turmoil and stress, people should do what they want. This way, they can get the utmost satisfaction from the process and have happy live.
In conclusion, choosing desired career may help young people to have fulfilled life and emotional satisfaction. In contrast, being real and pondering about future job may benefit young individuals to get luxurious jobs and aid them to get early promotions.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive. Clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph and more explicit linking phrases would help guide the reader through the essay. Ensuring consistent punctuation and spacing will also improve readability.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas more effectively.
- Ensure that your conclusion fully summarizes the arguments you have made in the essay.
The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical repertoire. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad vocabulary, but there are some instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. For example, “freewill” should be “freedom of choice,” and “emotionally fulfillment” should be “emotional fulfillment.” Refining word choice and ensuring correct spelling and grammar usage will improve the overall clarity and professionalism of the essay. Additionally, using a more formal tone throughout the essay will enhance the overall quality.
The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay contains a few grammatical errors that affect clarity and readability. For example, “emphasis career stability” should be “emphasizes career stability,” and “emotional fulfillment and willing to sacrifice their revenue” should be “emotional fulfillment and a willingness to sacrifice their income.” Paying closer attention to grammatical accuracy, including subject-verb agreement and preposition usage, will improve the overall quality of the essay. Additionally, ensuring consistent punctuation and spacing will enhance readability.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. However, the argument could be more fully developed in places. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both perspectives on whether young people should pursue their desired careers or set realistic goals for the future. The writer presents a clear introduction and conclusion and provides relevant examples to support their points. However, the essay could benefit from a more formal tone and style. Additionally, the conclusion could be more comprehensive in summarizing the main points discussed. Ensuring a more formal tone and style throughout the essay will enhance its overall quality. Additionally, providing a more comprehensive conclusion that summarizes the main points discussed will provide a more satisfying ending to the essay.
Suggestions
- Try to develop your arguments more fully. Provide more detailed examples to support your points.
- Ensure that your conclusion fully summarizes the arguments you have made in the essay.