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Some people prefer to save money. Others prefer to use their money on things they will enjoy. What is the best approach towards money? Discuss both side and give your opinion.

Most people prioritize to save their money to get ready for emergency situations, while others enjoy spending their money on the things that they enjoy to brighten their day. In my view, adopting a balanced approach by implementing some strategies of financial plan would be much more better.
One of the most advantages of saving money is being ready for the potential emergency situations. This means that while securing your part of your income for some specific purposes can be also incredibly useful for emergency situations. For instance, saving for emergencies ensures you with necessary funds in situations like car accidents which can lead to surgeries or even repairing a car itself. Moreover, saved income is beneficial for natural disasters. For instance, when facing earthquakes a person can feel confident about damages, which saved money can be used for temporary housing or possession repairings.
On the other hand spending money for the things that you like is kind of entertainment which reduces stress, assisting you to escape hustle and bustles. To be more specific, in our fast-paced world, where surrounded with responsibilities and pressures, using your money for entertainment purposes can provide a sense of relief and joy. For instance, travelling to new destinations, rewarding yourself with the meal you enjoy or just purchasing a product that brings you a happiness is a great way of recharging emotionally and mentally. Moreover, participating in activities you love like concerts, theatres or circuses is one of the best ways to escape your everyday problems. Finally, by investing to your personal pleasure is the only benefit to escape your lifetime issues.
However, those two actions can lead to over saving or over spending. Sometimes people over restrict themselves from spending money, intending to prepare themselves for the possible emergency situations, while others waste their income just wanting to escape daily problems. Therefore, there are some suggestions from business experts on how to calculate and spend salaries. For example, one of the most popular income calculation plan called 50/30/20 is commonly advised by successful individuals. That strategy stands for spending 50% of your profit on a daily or frequently faced needs such as apartment renting, foods for living or utilities like hygienic tools. Meanwhile other, 30 and 20 stands for the wants and saving, 30% of your income should be used for entertainment purposes like dining out, which doesn’t ignore your need to escape your everyday issues, while 20% of your budget should be accumulated to piggy banks, to be ready for future emergencies.
In conclusion, even though I don’t deny the actions of both groups who save their money or who spend their profit for entertainment purposes, I believe that in order to prevent over restricting or over spending your income, measures should be taken by using credible strategies suggested by experienced businessmen.

7.0

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive. Clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph and more explicit linking phrases would help guide the reader through the essay. Ensuring consistent punctuation and spacing will also improve readability.

Suggestions
  • Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transitions between ideas.
  • Make sure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to this topic.

The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical repertoire. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, but there are some instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. For example, “a person can feel confident about damages” could be rephrased as “a person can feel confident about handling the financial aspects of damages.” Improving lexical precision and variety will enhance the clarity and professionalism of the essay. Additionally, ensuring correct spelling and grammar usage will improve overall readability.

The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay contains a few grammatical errors that affect clarity and readability. For example, “One of the most advantages of saving money” should be “One of the advantages of saving money.” Paying closer attention to grammatical accuracy, including correct verb forms and preposition usage, will improve the overall quality of the essay.

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported. The essay addresses the topic by discussing the importance of saving versus spending and providing a balanced perspective. The writer takes a clear stance that a balanced approach is best, and provides reasons and examples to support this view. The essay could be improved by providing more specific examples and by ensuring that each point is fully developed and supported. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.

Suggestions
  • Ensure that you fully develop your arguments and support them with relevant examples.