Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that video games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?
In an era characterized by technological advancements and opportunities to find digital games, they are becoming a subject of a controversial debate.
People have differing views as to whether those games are pure entertainment and beneficial scholastic material or people, especially children, might be negatively impacted. In my opinion possible drawbacks are far less significant than upsides.
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Proponents of the downsides of virtual games cite various reasons to support their stance. Spending a long time on screen could cause different health problems for both adults and young kids. When people are immersed in a game they do not desire to stop playing, which possible leads to poor eyesights or worse stress. In addition, these developments are one of the enormous distractions preventing individuals, children in particular, from focusing on their prioritized tasks. If a person is enjoying the game , one would not want to complete the given projects. This could probably mean struggles at schools and jobs.
On the other hand, I and some people hold the view that advantages of video games are immense both in education and leisure time. In the past, people were obliged to go out to play games, thus physical activities were popular. However, nowadays a large number of people are choosing to opt for digital ones because of instant enjoyment and comfort at home. Not only does it benefit in spare time, but also people can learn useful chunks from games, which would prove helpful when they visit the country where are many native speakers of that particular language. Thus, I firmly feel that benefits are too important to neglect.
It should be acknowledged that diving into games and not finishing the projects in addition to mental issues are problematic. However, taking parents presence into account children would limit their gaming hours, but adults must assume responsibility and restrict time on playing by setting a timer or discouraging themselves until they have finished an assignment.
In conclusion, although downsides are hard to overlook they can be controlled with guardians’ presence and a little responsibility ,however, educational and enjoyable gains are vitally important , especially in this modern world.
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. However, there are a few instances where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.
Suggestions
- Improve the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
- Use a variety of linking words to connect ideas more effectively.
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary relevant to the topic. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity. Additionally, the use of more precise and varied vocabulary could enhance the essay.
The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures and is generally grammatically accurate. However, there are a few minor errors that could be corrected for clarity. Additionally, the use of more complex grammatical structures could enhance the essay.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. However, the argument could be more fully developed in places. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both the positive and negative aspects of video games and providing a clear personal opinion. The writer presents a well-structured argument with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, the essay could benefit from a more detailed exploration of the counter-arguments to provide a more balanced view.
Suggestions
- Provide a more detailed exploration of counter-arguments to provide a more balanced view.