Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that videos games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?
Nowadays, people have different views about playing video games. While few people believe, it is harmless entertainment and the good way of education, I side with those who argue that video games cause negative effects on game players.
These are many benefits related to playing video games. The key among them, is improving attention and concentration. Most of games, especially strategic ones may require full focus and completely concentrating for winning the match. So, players should give attention and concentrate on game for quite long period of time, around one or, two hours at least. As a result of this, gamers’ attention and concentration also might be improved and become more long lasting. Another advantage associated with social interaction. Communication with each other in games is crucial, mainly for team games and strategic games. For example, player may have to interact with their teammates to exchange information about enemies’ location and plan tactics which is the good method of meeting new friends butalso strengthening bonds with old mates.
However, despite upsides stated above, there are many downsides associated with video games playing,
Firstly, it limits academic process, it is true that playing games is very addictive and wastes students’ valuable time. For instance, students spend their time and effort on virtual play instead of compeleting. homeworks and attending at classes which at classes which leads to lower grade marks. Furthermore, these days many games containe violence whichhas bad impact on peoples’ psychology including children, shooting and killing virtually has negative effects on peoples’ behaviour. For instance, playing action game a lot make gamers more aggressive and depressed as it includes blody combats and shootings which is against human nature.
In conclusion, despite advantages about video games playing stated above, I strongly believe that potential downsides far exeed possible upsides.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly stating the writer’s opinion.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your ideas in each paragraph and provide a clear topic sentence.
The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical resource. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity and accuracy. Additionally, the use of synonyms could be increased to avoid repetition and enhance the overall quality of the writing.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are only minor errors. However, there are some errors in article and preposition usage that could be corrected for better clarity. The essay demonstrates a good control of a wide range of grammatical structures, with only minor errors. However, there are some errors in article and preposition usage that could be corrected for better clarity. Additionally, the use of more varied sentence structures could enhance the overall quality of the writing.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay effectively addresses the prompt, providing a clear position and supporting it with relevant examples. The introduction and conclusion are clear and the body paragraphs are well-organized and focused. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with more specific examples. Additionally, the use of more varied sentence structures could enhance the overall quality of the writing.
Suggestions
- Ensure that the argument is fully developed and supported with specific examples.
- Consider addressing potential counterarguments to strengthen the overall position.