Some people say advertising has positive economic effects. Others think it has a negative social effect, because it will make people dissatisfied with who they are and what they have.
Advertising is everywhere these days. Some people believe that it helps the economy by encouraging people to buy things. Others think it makes people unhappy with themselves because they always want more. In this essay, I will discuss both views and give my opinion.
Firstly, advertising helps businesses. When people see ads, they learn about new products. For example, if a company makes a new phone, they need to show it to people. This will make people buy it, and the company will grow. When companies grow, they need more workers, so this helps the economy. Also, ads give people information. Without ads, we would not know about good products, sales, or new shops.
However, some people think advertising is bad. They say it makes people think they need expensive things to be happy. For example, some ads show models with perfect skin or bodies, and people feel they are not good enough. This can make people sad or spend too much money on things they don’t need. Sometimes, kids see ads for toys or games and then ask their parents to buy them, which can be hard for families.
In my opinion, advertising has good and bad sides. It helps businesses and shows us new things, but it also makes some people unhappy. I think we should not believe everything we see in ads and try to be happy with what we have.
In conclusion, advertising is important for the economy, but it can also make people feel bad about themselves
The essay is logically organized and the ideas are connected, but there are some areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant, but the body paragraphs could be more detailed and focused. Transitions between ideas are sometimes abrupt, and the use of cohesive devices is sometimes repetitive or incorrect.
Suggestions
- Add more supporting sentences to your body paragraphs to make your arguments more developed and detailed.
- Use a wider variety of cohesive devices to improve the flow of your writing.
The essay uses a range of vocabulary and there is some evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and there is a variety of grammatical structures. However, there are several grammatical errors and awkward constructions that hinder understanding.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. Both sides of the argument are discussed, and the writer’s opinion is clearly stated. However, the arguments could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay could also be improved by providing a more detailed explanation of the economic benefits of advertising and a more thorough discussion of the negative social effects.
Suggestions
- Provide more specific examples to support your arguments.
- Develop your ideas more fully and provide a more detailed discussion of each point.