Some people say advertising has positive economic effects. Others think it has a negative social effect, because it will make people dissatisfied with who they are and what they have.
Advertising is everywhere these days. Some people believe that it helps the economy by encouraging people to buy things. Others think it makes people unhappy with theirselves because they always want more. In this essay, I will discuss both views and give my opinion.
Firstly, advertising help businesses. When people see ads, they learn about new products. For example, if a company make a new phone, they need to show it to the people. This will make people buy it and the company will grow. When companies grow they need more workers, so this helps the economy. Also, ads give people information. Without ads, we will not know about good products, sales, or new shops.
However, some people think advertising is bad. They say it makes people think they need expensive things to be happy. For example, some ads show models with perfect skin or bodies, and people feel they are not good enough. This can make people sad or spend too much money on things they don’t need. Sometimes, kids see ads for toys or games and then ask their parents to buy them, which can be hard for families.
In my opinion, advertising has good and bad sides. It help businesses and shows us new things, but it also makes some people unhappy. I think we should not believe everything we see in ads and try to be happy with what we have.
In conclusion, advertising is important for the economy but it can also make people feel bad about themselfs. We should be careful when we see ads.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly stating the writer’s opinion.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points and clearly state your opinion.
The essay uses a range of vocabulary and there is some evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with some attempts to use less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices, which can detract from the overall clarity and effectiveness of the writing. Additionally, the use of more formal language could be improved to better suit the academic context.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and there is some evidence of a variety of grammatical structures. However, there are several grammatical errors and some sentences are difficult to understand. The essay attempts to use a variety of sentence structures and shows some control of grammar and punctuation. However, there are several grammatical errors that can hinder the reader’s understanding and detract from the overall quality of the writing. Proofreading to correct these errors is recommended.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both the positive and negative aspects of advertising and providing a personal opinion. However, the discussion could be more fully developed, with more specific examples and a clearer structure in the body paragraphs. Additionally, the conclusion could more effectively summarize the main points and reiterate the personal stance taken in the essay.
Suggestions
- Ensure that you fully develop your arguments and support them with specific examples.
- Clearly outline your personal stance in the conclusion and summarize the main points made in the essay.