Some people say advertising has positive economic effects. Others think it has negative social effects because it will make people dissatisfied with who they are and what they have.
Advertising is everywhere these days. Some people believe that it helps the economy by encourage people to buy things. Others think it make people unhappy with theirselves because they always want more. In this essay, I will discuss both views and say my opinion.
Firstly, advertising help businesses. When people see ads, they learn about new products. For example if a company makes a new phone. They need to show it to the people. This will make people buy it and the company will grow. When companies grow they need more workers so this helps the economy. Also, ads give people informations. Without ads we will not know about good products, sales, or new shops.
However, some people think advertising is bad. They say it make people think they need expensive things to be happy. For example some ads show models with perfect skin or bodys, and people feel they are not good enough. This can make people sad or want to spend too much money on things they don’t need. Sometimes, kids see ads for toys or games and then ask their parents to buy them. Which can be hard for families.
In my opinion advertising has good and bad sides. It help businesses and shows us new things, but it also makes some people unhappy. I think we should not believe everything we see in ads and try to be happy with what we have.
In conclusion advertising is important for the economy but it can also make people feel bad about themselfs. We should be careful when we see ads.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay is structured with an introduction, body paragraphs for each viewpoint, and a conclusion. You use basic cohesive devices, but the essay would benefit from a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow between ideas. Some sentences are repetitive, which affects the overall cohesion. Using synonyms and varying sentence structures can help avoid repetition and make the essay more engaging.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Avoid repetition of ideas to improve the overall cohesion of the essay.
The essay uses a limited range of vocabulary and there are some inaccuracies in word choice and spelling. The essay demonstrates a basic range of vocabulary, but there are some inaccuracies and repetitive phrases. To improve, use a wider variety of vocabulary related to the economy and psychology. Be mindful of spelling, especially with words that are commonly misspelled.
The essay uses a limited range of grammatical structures and there are some errors in grammar and punctuation. The essay uses a variety of grammatical structures, but there are several errors that affect the readability. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, especially in the third person singular. Use punctuation correctly to avoid run-on sentences or fragments. Proofread to correct grammatical errors and improve sentence structure.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported. The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both the positive and negative aspects of advertising. You present a clear opinion, but the essay would benefit from more specific examples to support your points. Each paragraph discusses a single idea, which is good for clarity, but the essay could benefit from more detailed explanations and examples to support your points. The conclusion effectively summarizes your views but could be more comprehensive.
Suggestions
- Include more specific examples to support your arguments.
- Develop your arguments more fully to provide a deeper analysis.