Some people say advertising has positive economic effects, others think it has negative social effects because it will make people dissatisfied with who they are and what they have.
Some kind of people say advertising has optimistic economic effects. Others believe it has a harmful social impact because it will make people frustrated with who they are, such as what they have. In my essay, I will debate both these opinions as well as examine both perspectives before presenting a balanced opinion.
Advertising drives economic growth by encouraging consumer spending. It gives information about new products, fresh innovations, and services. Especially, businessmen use advertising when they invent fresh items and when some buildings are constructed. If businessmen come up with a new idea, they will make it and present it to the public on various billboards or in consultation with television channels to promote their things or places they want to advertise.
On the other hand, in some kind of people, someone who hates and dislikes, the reason is when someone who watch a movie on TV, when it comes to main part of the movie or series, the commercial are mostly distracting which makes people stressed. In addition to that, it influences kids to want unhealthy foods or unnecessary toys and so on. And this will affect their development and their eating unhealthy foods because when children consume some kind of fast food, this food has the worst effect on children’s health. And this leads to various food poisoning in children.
In conclusion, advertising is mainly useful for companies and businessmen because they can sell their products quickly and easily, and on the other hand, advertising can be harmful to children and certain types of people. For me, I think it’s best to run ads at the same period.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay is structured with an introduction, body paragraphs for each viewpoint, and a conclusion. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes awkward, affecting readability. Additionally, the transition between the positive and negative effects of advertising could be smoother to enhance the overall flow of the essay.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of cohesive devices to improve the flow of your writing.
- Make sure that your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points of your essay.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, such as “economic growth,” “consumer spending,” and “harmful social impact.” However, there are some instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be refined for clarity and precision. Additionally, the use of more varied and specific examples could enhance the discussion.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar and punctuation. The essay features a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are several grammatical errors that affect the overall clarity and readability of the essay. Paying closer attention to grammatical accuracy, particularly with verb forms and sentence construction, could improve the quality of the writing. Additionally, ensuring proper punctuation usage will help enhance the clarity and professionalism of the essay.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both the positive and negative effects of advertising. The writer presents a clear introduction, discusses how advertising drives economic growth by encouraging consumer spending, and explores the potential harmful effects on children and certain individuals. However, the discussion could be more fully developed with additional examples or evidence to support the points made. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.
Suggestions
- Make sure to fully develop your arguments and support them with specific examples.