Some people say advertising has positive economic effects. Others think it has negative social effects because it will make people dissatisfied with who they are and what they have. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
According to some people, advertisements have beneficial economic impacts, however, others believe it can lead to disappointment with oneself and one’s possessions, which is seen
as a negative social impact.This essay will discuss both views of this statement and will be given personal opinion of writer.
At the present time there a lot of sources which we can face with adds, such as, TVs, billboards, mobile phones even in meeting. The reason why the ads are widespread is boosting product visibility and encouraging consumers to purchase goods and services, leading to increased sales and profits for businesses. Due to the fact that, if the advertisement is attractive, people will buy the item which was in the add. For example, the ad of Oreo, the advertisement of this cookie pull towards to buy this cookie.
However, the product advertised can often not meet expectations as shown in the ad, leading to dissatisfaction with reality and increased feelings of inadequacy among consumers. Because in adverts usually promotes idealized lifestyle, thus people purchase even nonsense items, like quirky kitchen tools.
In conclusion, attractive adverts are useful tool in order to make something like cookie as popular, however it can lead some negative social effects like disappointing from the product. In my opinion, attractive advertisements are effective in selling useful and high-quality items.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay is structured with an introduction, body paragraphs for each view, and a conclusion. You use some cohesive devices, such as “however” and “because,” to link ideas. To improve coherence, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and that all sentences within the paragraph support that idea. Additionally, more varied and precise transitional phrases could help clarify the relationships between your points.
Suggestions
- Use a wider range of cohesive devices to improve the flow of your writing.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to this topic.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. You demonstrate a good range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, such as “disappointment,” “dissatisfaction,” and “inadequacy.” To further enrich your lexical resource, consider using more varied and precise language to describe the effects of advertising (e.g., “exaggerated expectations,” “consumer disillusionment”). Additionally, be mindful of word choice to ensure clarity and accuracy. For example, “disappointing from the product” could be more accurately expressed as “disappointment in the product.”
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar, punctuation and spelling. These errors do not generally impede communication. Your essay shows an attempt to use a mix of simple and complex sentences to convey your ideas. There are some grammatical errors that affect the clarity and accuracy of your writing, such as issues with subject-verb agreement and preposition use. Proofreading to correct these errors is recommended. Additionally, to improve your grammatical range and accuracy, consider incorporating a variety of sentence structures, such as conditional sentences or passive voice, where appropriate.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported. You have addressed the task by discussing both views on the impact of advertising and providing your own opinion. You clearly introduce the topic and your opinion in the introduction and conclude by stating your view. To enhance your response, consider providing more specific examples to support your points and further developing your arguments to provide a more comprehensive analysis of the issue.
Suggestions
- Provide more specific examples to support your points.
- Develop your arguments more fully to provide a more comprehensive analysis of the issue.