Some people say free time activities for children should be organized by parents. Others assay that children should be free to choose what they do in their free time. Discuss both views and give your own opinion
In today’s world, parents are more focusing on their children’s both indoor and outdoor activities. Some people say that, parents are the former individuals, who should set free time activities for their children, while others argue, that such activities should be freely chosen by children themselves. I believe that organizing a timetable by parents would be beneficial, however, choosing particular activities by children themselves will lead to more positive outcomes.
On the one hand, parents are chief influencers for their children. Organizing a timetable of free time activities for their children would bring many advantages, as parents are acknowledged well with the type of activities that their children love to do. According to this, they can easily recommend any type of classes that will benefit their children. Additionally, parents will organize such set of activities that will not deteriorate both mental and physical health of their children. Parents are able to come up with restrictions for leisure activities like playing game console or watching series, in order to prevent their children from worthless activities. For example, the child controlled by his parent will participate in sport classes, instead of spending whole day at the screen playing games.
On the other hand, it is more efficient for children to organize free time activities themselves. Due to severe restrictions by side of their parents, children will totally lose their freedom. Instead of chasing their interest, they will become a victim of their parents’ desires. So that is why, each student ought to set his timetable himself. By doing it solely, children will take into account their vibrant interests and hobbies, and are more able to wisely allocate their time. Sometimes they will get rid of subject classes as well, just to refresh their mind from bustles.
In conclusion, organization of free time activities by parents will benefit children in terms of self- discipline, while setting free time activities themselves will bring them more freedom and choices.
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. However, there are a few instances where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.
Suggestions
- Improve the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
- Use a wider range of linking words to connect ideas more effectively.
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary, with appropriate use of academic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise language could enhance the overall quality of the essay.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are only minor errors. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect phrasing. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, which adds to the overall quality of the writing. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that could be revised for clarity. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise language could enhance the overall quality of the essay.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. However, the argument could be more fully developed in places. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both views and providing a clear personal opinion. The introduction and conclusion are well-developed and the essay provides relevant examples to support the points made. However, the essay could provide a more detailed exploration of the reasons behind each view to enhance the overall quality of the writing.
Suggestions
- Provide a more detailed exploration of the reasons behind each view to enhance the overall quality of the writing.