Some people say free time activities for children should be organized by parents. Others say that children should be free to choose what they do in their free time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
The debate over whether children’s activities for their spare time has long been a topic of much discussion, with some believing that it should be controlled and organized by parents while others argue that children should have the freedom to choose how they spend their spare time. I personally believe that a balanced approach to this situation is the best choice.
One key advantage of organizing all activities for children’s spare time is that parents organize in a more efficient way. When parents organize activities for their children based on their experience, they focus on a balanced routine and personal development that can be useful in different contexts. As a result, children boost their cognitive skills and disciplined life, which not only enhance their intellectual growth but also open more doors in their successful future life. For example, a growing child can have more likely developed skills and enough knowledge about values like discipline and punctuality if they were controlled by parental activity organizations. Thus, allowing parents to create a balanced life for their children with the mix of necessary activities can serve positive results for children’s futures.
On the other hand, proponents argue that allowing children to choose specific activities may contribute to a sense of confidence and independence. As long as youngsters choose activities themselves, they are more likely to select things they are genuinely interested in, which can nurture their creativity. This in turn results in stronger performances based on their interests, thereby increasing their potential for reduced stress and increased sense of responsibility. This is exemplified by a child who chooses to join a soccer team out of genuine interest is likely to be more dedicated and, consequently, perform better. Therefore, autonomy enables children to have an independent mindset, contributing to reduced stress and a strong sense of responsibility.
However, despite the advantages of these two individual ideas, balancing between them provides children with a dedication and success independently. By cooperating with children, parents recognize their children’s interests and recommend the best choices of activity. This approach enables the children to be more likely successful in their future career path, even better than individual approaches related to activity choice. A good case in point would be parents who guide their children in choosing extracurricular activities, blending their own knowledge with their child’s interests. Thereby, as the child feels supported and guided while still having autonomy, it helps build a strong foundation for future career success.
In conclusion, while organizing children’s extracurricular activities by parents and their own, I strongly advocate for the idea of balancing them and working cooperatively, offering a better foundation for children’s future.
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant. However, there are a few instances where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs for each viewpoint, and a conclusion that restates your position. You use transition words effectively to guide the reader through your argument (e.g., “One key advantage,” “On the other hand,” “In conclusion”). To improve cohesion, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and that the ideas within paragraphs are logically ordered and connected. For example, in the paragraph discussing the benefits of parental organization, you could further elaborate on how specific activities are chosen and the expected outcomes in terms of children’s development.
Suggestions
- Try to ensure that your ideas flow more smoothly from one to the next.
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and idiomatic language. You demonstrate a good command of vocabulary, with appropriate use of terms such as “cognitive skills,” “discipline,” “punctality,” “creativity,” and “autonomy.” Your use of language is clear and effective, contributing to a strong overall expression of your ideas. To further enhance your lexical resource, consider incorporating a wider variety of vocabulary to discuss the topic from different perspectives and avoid repetition. Additionally, be mindful of the precise use of terms to ensure clarity of meaning.
The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures and is generally free from grammatical errors. Your essay displays a variety of sentence structures and a high level of grammatical accuracy. You effectively use complex sentences to convey detailed information and make your arguments more persuasive. To further improve your grammatical range and accuracy, continue to practice using a variety of sentence structures, including passive constructions and conditional sentences. Additionally, pay attention to the consistency of verb tenses and the correct use of articles to ensure the highest possible level of grammatical accuracy.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. Both sides of the argument are discussed in a balanced way, and the writer’s position is clearly stated and supported. You have addressed the task by presenting a clear position that a balanced approach is best. You provide a well-developed argument for each side of the debate, discussing the benefits of parental organization and the advantages of child autonomy. Your position is clearly stated in the introduction and conclusion, and you effectively use examples to support your arguments. To further enhance your task response, consider providing more specific examples or evidence to support your points. Additionally, a more detailed exploration of the potential challenges or considerations in implementing a balanced approach may provide a more nuanced understanding of the topic.
Suggestions
- Consider providing more specific examples or evidence to support your points.
- Exploration of potential challenges or considerations in implementing a balanced approach may provide a more nuanced understanding of the topic.