Some people say free time activities for children should be organized by their parents. Others say that children should be free to choose what they do in their free time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Nowadays there are different views about whether leisure time activities for children should be prioritized by their parents or children themselves. Even though children have the right to choose how they spend their free time, I still believe that it would be more effective if it was organized by parents.
One of the main reasons why children should be allowed to choose activities during their free time is that they have a better understanding of their interests and preferences. This is mainly because children are sometimes forced to participate in activities selected by their parents. As a result, they are highly likely bored or disengaged once they start doing these activities. On the other hand, if children pick how they spend their pastimes, they can enjoy and be fulfilled by what they do. Additionally, giving freedom for children to make their own decision probably boosts their confidence and self-esteem, meaning that they can be ready for adulthood even before graduating from school.
I, however, believe that parents can make better decisions for their children regarding leisure activities. One primary reason is that they generally know what is best for their children. Most parents are aware of children’s likes and dislikes, as well as their strengths and weaknesses. Consequently, parents can still manage their children’s free time effectively. Moreover, if past time activities are chosen by parents, it not only brings happiness to their children but also can be quite helpful in the future. For example, children sometimes delve into activities that are just enjoyable and funny, missing out valuable experiences that can enhance their skills and knowledge. But parents mostly want their children to engage in activities that are related to their future profession or career. By doing so, parents can teach their children to be responsible during their life.
To conclude, although giving the freedom for children what they do in their free time makes them happy and confident, I am still in favor of parental organization of pastimes as this way makes children’s free time effective and useful while still making them happy.
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas.
- Make sure that your conclusion effectively summarizes the points you have made in the essay.
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
The essay uses a wide range of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. However, the introduction could be more engaging and the conclusion could more effectively summarize the points made.
Suggestions
- Consider using a more engaging hook in your introduction to capture the reader’s attention.
- In your conclusion, more effectively summarize the points you have made.