Some people say that modern technology has made shopping today easier, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion
Technology is growing fast, at least for the last two decades spesifically ten years back. It grows rapidly as rapid as human needs. It makes much easier for people today for assisting their daily activities. But also it has negativity, such as negating some administrative works that used to done by humans. It makes several person that involve in administrative works loses their jobs, and makes them jobless.
One main activity that helped by modern technology is shopping. From the consumer view, they used to go to the market or mall to fulfill their daily needs. It took times for them to get there, at least they had to prepare their times and also the transportation. But today, they can get what they want just by clicking application on their smartphone or the home browser. The can do all of this while they are doing anything else. It is saving so much energy. And from the seller aspect, they do not have to rent a place for doing their business, they can use their house as their virtual store. It also save them somuch money and give them additional profits. And from this modern technology, it increase demands for the delivery services, people can get new job from this advantage.
But also other people may say it differently, several jobs may meet their ends because of this modern technology. At the grocery store for example, it used to have several people that worked for the sales, cashier and cleaning service. And because today the store has changed into virtual store, they do not need them anymore.
The industry must gives better solution for people who loses their jobs because of technology. But also as a human, we have to grow more because of the situation. We must keep learning and being adaptive to this situation.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and giving a clear final opinion.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the conclusion and summarize the main points.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with some attempts to use less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices, which can detract from the overall clarity and effectiveness of the writing. Additionally, the use of more formal language could be more consistent.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar and punctuation. However, these do not impede communication. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, which adds some variety and interest to the writing. However, there are some grammatical errors and inaccuracies in punctuation, which can detract from the overall clarity and effectiveness of the writing. Additionally, the use of more complex grammatical structures could be more consistent.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both the positive and negative aspects of modern technology in relation to shopping. However, the argument could be more fully developed, with more specific examples and a clearer overall stance. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and giving a clear final opinion.
Suggestions
- Include more specific examples to support your arguments.
- Ensure that you fully develop your arguments and provide a clear, well-supported position.