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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree for this statement?

In recent years, music has changed dramatically, and now it plays one of the most crucial aspects of our lives in order to connect people in different ages and backgrounds. While there can be some differences between the types of music, I personally believe that it is a significant measure to bring people together.
On the one hand, music is extremely important to our lives in several aspects. Firstly, it is a universal language around the globe, and people can listen to any songs without understanding the true meaning of words and the tune of music. Secondly, most types of music can affect the spread of the culture of the country since people download the song and listen to it wherever they want. For example, K-Pop has gained vast popularity around the world, and people have already started to learn the culture and language of Korea. Finally, people come together to celebrate festivals on several occasions, and also singers and bands travel over the planet to do some tours. It means that people with different backgrounds and interests can come to one place to listen to their favorite music.
On the other hand, music cannot suit all people, as some differences should be accepted. Some genres of music are not suitable for people since they have totally different backgrounds. For instance, people cannot accept some modern types of music in Eastern countries, since they have strong mentality and different styles of living. Furthermore, we cannot listen to old music because at present we have more sophisticated musical instruments and tools. Most importantly, not all music can be understandable, because lyrics must matter while listening to this music. Without understanding the deep meaning of the music, people do not always listen to music.
In conclusion, music plays a vital role in our life to connect people, although there are some challenges to accepting this idea.

7.0

The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.

Suggestions
  • Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas.
  • Ensure that your conclusion effectively summarizes the points you have made in the essay.

The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.

The essay uses a wide range of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions.

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. However, the argument could be more fully developed in places.

Suggestions
  • Ensure that you fully develop your arguments and provide sufficient support for your points.
  • Consider addressing potential counterarguments to provide a more balanced view.