Some people say that parents have the most important role in a child's development. However, other things like television or friends have the most significant influence.

Most individuals think that parents should take care of child’s development. However, others say that children prefer television or friends in their life.
In fact, parents always should know their main role of life is that take care of their child’s behavior. And also, they should interest their development and their leisure time. How can they waste their time for what? Who are their friends? What are the changes in their life? All parents should to know answers these questions. Parents should to know their abilities and interests when they were child. If parents have the free time, they should practice with their children. And also, they should speak more and then they will be more kind and powerful with their family members and other relatives.
On the other hand, others say that the most effective things are not television and friends. Unfortunately, it is not true form of the developing the child’s character. In addition, television may cause their health. For example, red eyes and their brain work slowly. Actually, friends are not the best one rather than family or others.
In conclusion, people think that main role of the family is parents. They always help us and solve the problems. All of the people know that we will face the more challenges during our lifetime.

5.5

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a basic structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes awkward or incorrect, affecting the overall coherence. Additionally, there are some issues with paragraphing and the logical progression of ideas.

Suggestions

Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to this topic.

The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, but there are some instances of awkward or incorrect word choices, affecting the overall clarity and effectiveness of the writing. Additionally, there are some issues with word form and spelling.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar, punctuation and spelling. However, these errors do not generally impede communication. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, but there are some grammatical errors that can cause confusion. These include issues with subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, and the use of articles. Additionally, there are some errors in punctuation and spelling that can affect the overall clarity and professionalism of the writing.

The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the topic by discussing the role of parents in a child’s development and considering alternative influences such as television and friends. However, the argument is not fully developed, and the essay would benefit from more specific examples to support its points. Additionally, the conclusion could be more comprehensive.