Some people say that the best way to improve publik health is by increasing the number of sport facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that measures are required

People have different views as to whether the best method for improve the public health is by increasing number of sport facilities or this can give a little effect on public health, which require another activities. Both of them could be true in their own right but I agree with latter view.
In many parts of the world there are some advantages of increasing number of sport activities including but not limited to gym, boxing, football, fitness and running. Those activities can help to people doing regular exercises in order to reducing health problems such as obesity, leak of protein and mental health issues. According to scientists, the mental health had been the biggest problem among the people before discovering regular exercises, on the ground that, it could change not only people appearance but also unconscious. Although there are some special advantages of doing and improving sport exercises, the upsides can easily outweigh it.
On the other hand, I am of the opinion that this proposal is not enough in improve public health. There are other necessary measures including healthy food, daily plan and behaver. First of all, most people are suffering from unhealthy foods like fast foods, unique animal meals and other things that is harmful for human health, it can be cause not only obesity but also mind issues. If the people who can control daily plans and regular exercises, they will have an opportunity to cure their public health.
In conclusion, the idea of increasing number of sprot facilities may be true in their own right but I strongly believe that the latter views are more strong then former.

6.5

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly stating the overall stance.

Suggestions

Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
Make sure to clearly restate your main points in the conclusion and provide a clear, concise summary of your argument.

The essay uses a variety of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices, which can detract from the overall clarity and effectiveness of the writing. Additionally, the use of more formal language could be improved.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar and punctuation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a range of grammatical structures, with some complex sentences and a variety of forms used. However, there are a few errors in grammar and punctuation, which can detract from the overall clarity and effectiveness of the writing. Additionally, the use of more formal language could be improved.

The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position and supporting it with relevant examples. The introduction and conclusion are well-developed and the essay is structured in a logical manner. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with more specific examples.